100 best reasons why istimna is halal and nikah sunnah
28/09/2019
Masturbation is generally known in Arabic as "istimna" and the term istimna cannot be found anywhere in the Quran or authentic hadiths of the prophet (sal). Scholars are divided on whether istimna is haram or not but Islam is clearly silent on this issue and that proves that masturbation is not forbidden in Islam.
Istimna and nikah are interconnected issues among Muslims mainly because istimna is a taboo topic due to the general dislike among Muslims and when it comes to denouncing masturbation, nikah is what is used by Muslim scholars and laymen alike. The four schools of though known as madhhab are divided on whether nikah is an obligation or not. There is no clear textual evidence exist to prove that nikah (marriage) is an obligation for a Muslim.
Masturbation is generally known in Arabic as "istimna" and the term istimna cannot be found anywhere in the Quran or authentic hadiths of the prophet (sal). Scholars are divided on whether istimna is haram or not but Islam is clearly silent on this issue and that proves that masturbation is not forbidden in Islam.
Istimna and nikah are interconnected issues among Muslims mainly because istimna is a taboo topic due to the general dislike among Muslims and when it comes to denouncing masturbation, nikah is what is used by Muslim scholars and laymen alike. The four schools of though known as madhhab are divided on whether nikah is an obligation or not. There is no clear textual evidence exist to prove that nikah (marriage) is an obligation for a Muslim.
(Caption-Muslims are famous for forcing their children in to marriage and hold expensive and ridiculous nikah ceremony's which in most cases are to showcase one's ego)
“Get married” may be the word that is most frequently used to bully young men and women in the Muslim community to try to suppress masturbation which is natural and harmless and above all not forbidden in Islam. It is thought that after marriage your sexual desires can be controlled because you have a wife to physically engage whenever there is a need to engage. The truth that isn’t realized here is that almost all men that get married do not top masturbating because some men and even women might find masturbation enjoyable than sexual intercourse because it is practically possible for you to masturbate even ten times a day while having sex with your wife wouldn’t be that practical. Some might find masturbation more flexible as engaging in sexual intercourse with your wife at certain periods would be prohibited in Islam such as fasting and during the menstrual cycle of your wife (Even in this case you can have sex except intercourse by inserting the penis in to the vagina). There are thousands of reasons why masturbation is halal and nikah is only a sunnah. There is no evidence in Islam that you will stop masturbating once you get married. What has to be understood is that it will protect you from adultery and fornication. The other fact that needs to be understood is that marriage is not an obligation for the one who cannot afford to get married. This ruling is similar to performing Hajj. Hajj is an obligation if you can afford it. Similarly marriage is only an obligation if you are wealthy. Islam is not a religion of hardship. It is a religion of ease. The prophet (Sal) said as narrated by Aisha (Rali),
“Whoever has wealth should marry, and whoever does not should fast, because fasting is a restraint for him.”
(Ibn Majah-V-3, B-9, No-1846-Graded Sahih (authentic) by Shaykh Albani).
There is clear evidence to prove that forcing a person to marry is completely haram. Narrated by Abu Hurayrah(Rali),
The Prophet (Sal) said:
"An orphan virgin girl should be consulted about herself; if she says nothing that indicates her permission, but if she refuses, the authority of the guardian cannot be exercised against her will"
(Abu-Dawud-Graded Hasan Sahih by Albani)
Narrated by Ibn Abbas(Rali):
"A virgin came to the Prophet (Sal) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (Sal) allowed her to exercise her choice.
(Abu-Dawud-Graded Sahih by Albani)
Ibn ‘Abbas(Rali) narrated, The prophet(Sal) saying,
“A woman without a husband has more right to her person than her guardian and a virgin’s permission must be asked, her permission being her silence"
(Abu-Dawud-Graded Sahih by Albani)
Narrated Khansa bint Khidam Al-Ansariya:
That her father gave her in marriage when she was a matron and she disliked that marriage. So she went to Allah's Messenger (Sal) and he declared that marriage invalid.
(Bukhari)
Abu Said al Khudri(Rali) narrated,
The prophet (Sal) said:
“There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm”
(Ibn Mjah,Darqutni which was graded hasan Sahih and was also mentioned by Sheikh Salih al Uthaymin in Ash-Sharh al-Mumti-15/9-13)
Abu Said al Khudri(Rali) narrted that the prophet (Sal) said,
“Do not cause harm or return harm. Whoever harms others, Allah will harm him. Whoever is harsh with others, Allah will be harsh with him.”
(Baihaqi-Graded Sahih by Albani)
Allah(Swt) says in the Quran,
"There is no compulsion in religion"
(Al-Quran- 2:256)
If marriage is such an obligation irrespective of your financial status, then the prophet (Sal) would have told his companions to marry.
Ignorance Is Bliss.
After having so much evidence to prove that Islam does not force people to get married and that it’s only a recommended act, why are so many Muslims going on a rampage by forcing their fellow brethren to get married? The answer to this question lies not in the knowledge of the foolish preachers, it lies in the ignorance of the general Muslim populace. Many might know that in the year 1988 Salman Rushdie published his book the ‘Satanic Verses” ridiculing our noble messenger (Sal). We all know that Rushdie is not a Muslim. He grew up asa Muslim but later became an atheist. Now the biggest joke happened when Ayatollah Khomeini the then Rawafid (Shia) ruler of Iran gave a fatwa asking every Muslim to kill Rushdie.
The truth is, Khomeini is also a kafir (Disbeliever) who insulted the companions of the prophet (Sal) and made so much shirk and kufr; this book is not enough to mention them. Sadly, even the Sunni Muslims started believing this murthad Khomeini and wanted to kill Rushdie. Muslims have deviated from the true path of Islam by blindly following half-baked online Sheikhs who have started to dictate what Muslims should and should not do. As a result of this the general Muslim masses have become asses without a direction and have started to do Bidah (innovations), Shirk (having partners with Allah (Swt)), and Kufr (disbelief).
Nowhere in Islam does it say that masturbation is haram. People are drawing implications using the verses in the Quran and a few hadiths which have nothing to do with masturbation. You can read my full article on why masturbation is halal by clicking here https://cjislam.weebly.com/why-masturbation-is-not-haram.html
The issue of marriage is arguably one of the most talked about topics among Muslims especially when they are young. Are you married? When are you getting married? Why aren't you married? The questions, posed by those who are married towards the unmarried are many. Now the question is, Is marriage an obligation or is it a Sunnah?. The answer to this is that marriage is a recommended Sunnah and is not an obligation because there is no evidence where the prophet (Sal) said that marriage is wajib (Obligatory). In all the hadiths what the prophet (Sal) said was that marriage is a Sunnah.
Abdullah bin Mas’ood (Rali), who said: “We were with some youth not finding anything, so the Messenger of Allah (Swt) said: ‘O assembly of youth. Whoever of you is able to get married, then let him do so, for it lowers the gaze and protects the privates. And whoever is unable, then it is (on him) to fast, for it is a protection” (Bukhari and Muslim and others)
From the above hadith it is very clear that the prophet (Sal) did not regard marriage as an obligation. He regarded it as a Sunnah because if it was made an obligation, it would have been a hardship upon the Ummah.
If marriage was an obligation, then the prophet (Sal) would have clearly mentioned it as an obligation or a companion would have narrated of the prophet (Sal) stating that it's an obligation.
Narrated by Aisha (Rali), the prophet (Sal) said:
"When anyone sits amidst four parts (of the woman) and the circumcised parts touch each other, a bath becomes obligatory.
(Bukhari and Muslim)
In the above hadith, in the Arabic text the word "Wajib" (Sal) is used which means "obligation".
The next evidence is as follows
Narrated by Abu Huraira:
I said, "O Allah's Messenger (Sal)! I am a young man and I am afraid that I may commit illegal sexual intercourse and I cannot afford to marry." He kept silent, and then repeated my question once again, but he kept silent. I said the same (for the third time) and he remained silent. Then repeated my question (for the fourth time), and only then the Prophet said, "O Abu Huraira! The pen has dried after writing what you are going to confront. So (it does not matter whether you) get yourself castrated or not."
(Sahih Al Bukhari).
If we look carefully at the above hadith, Abu Hurairah (Rali) told the prophet (Sal) that he cannot marry because he does not have the means to get married. The prophet(Sal) never forced him or tell him he must get married and if marriage was an obligation the prophet (Sal) would have told him to get married anyway.
Given the scenario of Abu Hurairah (Rali) fearing that he could commit Zina, the prophet (Sal) never commanded him to marry.
Narrated by`Abdullah bin `Umar (Rali):
When Hafsa, Umar's daughter became a widow because of the death of her (husband) Ibn Hudhafa As-Sahmi, who was one of the companions of the Prophet (Sal) and the one of the Badr warriors and died at Medina, Umar said, "I met the Uthman bin Affan and gave him an offer, saying, 'If you wish, I will marry Hafsa to you.' He said. 'I will think it over' I waited for a few days, then he met me and said, 'I have made up my mind not to marry at present' "Umar added, "Then I met Abu Bakr and said to him, 'If you wish, I will marry Hafsa to you.'
(Sahih Al Bukhari)
From the this hadith it can be understood that when Uthman (Rali) refused Umar (Rali)'s offer to marry his daughter stating that he does not want to marry at the moment Umar (Rali) did not tell him to get married. If it was an obligation, then Umar (Rali) would have told him to marry.
Explanation of the hadiths where the prophet (Sal) forbade celibacy.
Some scholars and laymen are of the view that marriage is wajib. This view is based on the hadiths where the prophet (Sal) Forbade celibacy to some companions. After analysing these hadiths it is clear that the context of this prohibition needs to be understood clearly to understand the hadith.
Uthman Ibn Mahzun and some others made marriage haram for themselves. This is forbidden because it is forbidden to forbid something which Allah has allowed.
This is the reason why the Prophet (Sal) forbade celibacy. This should be understood in this context. The context of these hadiths must be understood clearly to understand the hadith. These hadiths are taken out of context, like for an example the hadiths on the local moon-sighting.
Sa’d Ibn Abi Waqqaas (Rali) said: The Messenger of Allah (Sal) forbade ‘Uthmaan Ibn Mahzun to be celibate. If he had given him permission, we would have gotten ourselves castrated".
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Anas Ibn Maalik said:
"Three people came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (Sal) asking about the worship of the Prophet (Sal). When they were told, it was as if they regarded it as too little.
They said: Who are we in comparison to the Prophet (Sal)? Allaah has forgiven his past and future sins. One of them said: As for me, I will pray all night forever. Another said: I shall fast all my life and never break my fast. Another said: I shall keep away from women and never get married.
The Messenger of Allaah (Sal) came and said: “Are you the ones who said such and such? By Allaah, I am the one who fears Allaah the most among you and I am the most pious, but I fast and I break my fast, I pray and I sleep, and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.”
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Anas (Rali) reported:
Three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (Sal) to inquire about the worship of the Prophet (Sal). When they were informed, they considered their worship insignificant and said: "Where are we in comparison with the Prophet (Sal) while Allah has forgiven his past sins and future sins".
One of them said: "As for me, I shall offer Salat all night long." Another said: "I shall observe Saum (fasting) continuously and shall not break it". Another said: "I shall abstain from women and shall never marry". The Prophet (Sal) came to them and said, "Are you the people who said such and such things? By Allah, I fear Allah more than you do, and I am most obedient and dutiful among you to Him, but still I observe fast and break it; perform Salat and sleep at night and take wives. So whoever turns away from my Sunnah does not belong to me".
(Bukhari and Muslim).
From the above mentioned narrations it is very clear that in all circumstances the prophet (Sal) said clearly that marriage is a sunnah.
Aishah (Rali) reported that the Allaah’s Messenger (Sal) said:
“Marriage is a sunnah (way) of mine; and whoever does not follow my Sunnah is not of my followers.
Marry because I will display your outnumbering the other nations on Resurrection Day. Whoever has wealth, marry, and whoever does not, fast, because fasting is a restraint for him”.
(Sunan Ibn Maajah, authenticated by Sheikh al – Albani in as – Sahihah)
From face value these hadiths may look like that marriage is an obligation because celibacy was forbidden by the prophet (Sal) but a deeper research proves otherwise. The entire story of the prophet (Sal) forbidding celibacy should be understood by understanding all the available hadiths and verses of the Quran. The prophet (Sal) forbade celibacy because of the below mentioned reasons.
Aa‟ishah (Rali) reported that Khuwaylah, daughter of Hakim Bin Umayyah
Bin Harithah Bin a1 – Awqas as – Sulami (from the tribe of Sulam) visited her.
Khuwaylah was married to Uthmaan Bin Mahzun. Allaah‟s Messenger (Sal) saw her and noticed her messy appearance; so he asked „ Aisha, “O„Aisha!
What makes Khuwaylah appear so messy?”„Aisha (Rali) replied, “O Allaah‟s messenger! This woman's husband fasts during the day and prays during the Night. So it is as if she does not have a husband, and thus she neglected her appearance.”
Allah‟s Messenger (Sal) then summoned Uthmaan Bin Mahzun
And said to him, “O „Uthmaan! Are you doing that because you dislike my Sunnah?” He replied,
“By Allaah, no, O Allaah‟s Messenger! Rather, my whole Interest is to follow your Sunnah.” Allaah‟s Messenger (Sal) then said:
“Verily, I sleep and pray, fast and breakfast, and marry women. Thus fear and revere Allaah, O „Uthmaan, because your family has a right upon you, your guests have a right upon you, and yourself (body) has a right upon you. So, fast and break my fast, and pray and sleep.
(Ahmed and Abu Daawud. Graded Sahih by Sheikh al Albaani in Irwaa‟ ul – Ghaleel)
Look carefully at the above hadith. Uthman Ibn Mahzun (Rali) was austere in worship and did not have any relationship with his wife although he was married to her. And this is why the prophet (Sal) asked him;
“O „Uthmaan! Are you doing that because you dislike my Sunnah?
In another hadith Aisha (Rali), said:
Allaah‟s Messenger (Sal) said to him:
“O „Uthmaan! Monasticism bas not been enjoined upon us.
Do you not have an Example in me? By Allaah, verily, I fear Allaah and safeguard His boundaries
More than any of you.”
(Ibn Hibbaan, Ahmed and at – Tabarani-Graded Sahih by Sheikh al Albaani in Irwaa‟ ul – Ghaleel)
The monasticism mentioned above should be understood as Uthman bin Mahzun (Rali) not following the sunnah of the prophet (Sal).
From the above hadiths it is clear that some companions, including Uthman Ibn Mahzun wanted to practice monasticism by being celibate.
They forbade marriage to themselves and this is why Allah (Swt) revealed the below verse in the Quran as explained by Imam Ibn Kathir in his authentic Tafsir.
“O you who believe! Make not unlawful the Tayyibaat (all that is good as regards foods, things, deeds, beliefs, persons) which Allaah has made lawful to you, and transgress not. Verily, Allaah does not like the transgressors” (5:87)
The above verse was revealed specifically when some companions forbade marriage to themselves. Ibn Jareer (Rah) of Tafsir at Tabari narrated with his isnad that Mujaahid (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Some men, including ‘Uthmaan Ibn Mahzun and ‘Abd-Allaah Ibn ‘Amr (may Allaah be pleased with them) wanted to be celibate, and to castrate themselves, then the above verse (5:87) verse was revealed.
From the above evidences It is crystal clear that the prohibition of celibacy came because some companions went in to extremes in coming closer to Allah (Swt) in worship by going beyond the lenient middle path of our beloved messenger (Sal) and not because marriage is an Obligation.
There is a difference between forbidding something which is halal and not doing what is halal due to personal reasons.
For an example, you can wait without using the miswak due to personal reasons, but the line you transgress is when you start forbidding the miswak for yourself and others because you have no right to do that. This is why Allah (Swt) says in the above verse (Surah 5, Verse 87) to not forbid what he has made lawful.
There is a difference between forbidding a sunnah and not practising the sunnah. Let me give more examples.
Anas (Rali) reported that some of the Companions of Allah's Apostle (Sal) asked his (the Prophet's) wives about the acts that he performed in private. Someone among them (among his Companions) said:
"I will not marry women; someone among them said: I will not eat meat; and someone among them said: I will not lie down in bed. He (the Prophet (Sal)) praised Allah and glorified Him, and said: What has happened to these people that they say so and so, whereas I observe prayer and sleep too; I observe fast and suspend observing them; I marry women also? And he who turns-
Away from my Sunnah, he has no relation with Me"
(Sahih Muslim)
The meaning of what the prophet (Sal) meant by " Marriage is my sunnah and whoever does not follow my sunnah is not of me" is because of the above reason. In the above hadith, some of the companions tried to bring in something new to Islam by becoming extreme in worship. Islam is in the middle path.
It needs to be noted that even in this scenario the prophet (Sal) only said,
"And he who turns away from my Sunnah".
If marriage was wajib he would have said that it's wajib but rather he said it was a sunnah. Some of the Sahaba in the above hadith said that they will not eat meat. Refraining from eating meat as a way of being austere in worship is haram because you are bringing a new thing into Islam, which is known as Bidah (Innovation) and you are forbidding something which Allah (Swt) has made halal.
But refraining from eating meat because of personal reasons such as for an example, you were brought up in a vegetarian family before you accepted Islam and you are not used to eating meat is not a transgression because you are accepting that eating meat is allowed in Islam and you are not transgressing. It's only a personal choice.
Similarly, if you say: I don't want to get married because I fear that I won't be able to provide my wife or children is a fair reason because there is no transgression.
The evidence for this is in the following hadith.
'Abdullah b. 'Abbas reported that Khalid bin Walid, who is called the Sword of Allah had informed him that he visited Maimuna, the wife of Allah's Apostle (Sal), in the company of Allah's Messenger (Sal), and she was the sister of his mother (that of Khalid) and that of 'Ibn Abbas, and he found with her a roasted lizard which her sister Hufaida the daughter of al-Harith had brought from Najd, and she presented that lizard to Allah's Messenger (Sal). It was rare that some food was presented to the Prophet (Sal) and it was not mentioned or named.
While Allah's Messenger (Sal) was about to stretch forth his hand towards the lizard, a woman from amongst the women present there informed the Messenger of Allah (Sal) what they had presented to him.
They said: "Messenger of Allah, it is a lizard. Allah's Messenger (Sal) withdrew his hand, whereupon Khalid bin Walid said: Messenger of Allah, is a lizard forbidden? Thereupon he said: No, but it is not found in the land of my people, and I feel that I have no liking for it.
Khalid said:
I then chewed and ate it, and Allah's Messenger (Sal) was looking at me and he did not forbid (me to eat it) (Sahih Muslim).
And in another hadith 'Umar (Rali) reported:
A person asked Allah's Messenger (Sal) about the eating of the lizard, whereupon he said. "I neither eat it, nor do I prohibit it.
(Sahih Muslim)
Let us take a look at another example.
Ubayd bin`Umayr said that he heard `Aisha claiming that Allah's Messenger used to stay for a period in the house of Zaynab bint Jahsh and
Drink honey in her house. (She said) "Hafsah and I decided that when the Prophet entered upon either of us, we would say,` I smell Maghafir on you. Have you eaten Maghafir'
When he entered upon one of us, she said that to him. He replied (to her), No, but I drank honey in the house of Zaynab bint Jahsh, and I will never drink it again Then the following was revealed:
"O Prophet, why do you prohibit [yourself from] what Allah has made lawful for you, seeking the approval of your wives? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful".
(Al Quran-66:1)
(Sahih Al Bukhari)
From the above hadith the prophet (Sal) forbade for himself the drinking of honey, which Allah (Swt) had made halal. And the above verse was revealed prohibiting this action of his. From the above hadiths it is clear from the prophet (Sal) 's sunnah that refraining from doing something that is allowed is allowed in Islam as long as it does not transgress the limits.
After analysing all the above evidence we can conclude without doubt that the hadiths used by those who say that its wajib to marry is nothing but a misunderstood idea without understanding all the available evidence. Marriage is only a recommended sunnah and its not wajib.
What do the scholars say about marriage.
Ibn Khadama al Maqdisi in his book "Al Mughni" said the following
"Our colleagues differed as to whether marriage is obligatory.
The best-known opinion in our madhhab is that it is not obligatory, except when a person is afraid of committing a forbidden deed if he does not marry. In that case he should make himself chaste. This is the opinion of the majority of fuqahaa’.”
Scholars like Salih al Uthaymin and Shaikh bin Baz were also of this view. In conclusion, getting married is a recommended sunnah of the messenger (Sal) which has many benefits and at the same time it also should be noted that marriage cannot be termed as an obligation based on these evidence and masturbation is halal and a very good alternative to marriage.
C.J.Ahmed
“Whoever has wealth should marry, and whoever does not should fast, because fasting is a restraint for him.”
(Ibn Majah-V-3, B-9, No-1846-Graded Sahih (authentic) by Shaykh Albani).
There is clear evidence to prove that forcing a person to marry is completely haram. Narrated by Abu Hurayrah(Rali),
The Prophet (Sal) said:
"An orphan virgin girl should be consulted about herself; if she says nothing that indicates her permission, but if she refuses, the authority of the guardian cannot be exercised against her will"
(Abu-Dawud-Graded Hasan Sahih by Albani)
Narrated by Ibn Abbas(Rali):
"A virgin came to the Prophet (Sal) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (Sal) allowed her to exercise her choice.
(Abu-Dawud-Graded Sahih by Albani)
Ibn ‘Abbas(Rali) narrated, The prophet(Sal) saying,
“A woman without a husband has more right to her person than her guardian and a virgin’s permission must be asked, her permission being her silence"
(Abu-Dawud-Graded Sahih by Albani)
Narrated Khansa bint Khidam Al-Ansariya:
That her father gave her in marriage when she was a matron and she disliked that marriage. So she went to Allah's Messenger (Sal) and he declared that marriage invalid.
(Bukhari)
Abu Said al Khudri(Rali) narrated,
The prophet (Sal) said:
“There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm”
(Ibn Mjah,Darqutni which was graded hasan Sahih and was also mentioned by Sheikh Salih al Uthaymin in Ash-Sharh al-Mumti-15/9-13)
Abu Said al Khudri(Rali) narrted that the prophet (Sal) said,
“Do not cause harm or return harm. Whoever harms others, Allah will harm him. Whoever is harsh with others, Allah will be harsh with him.”
(Baihaqi-Graded Sahih by Albani)
Allah(Swt) says in the Quran,
"There is no compulsion in religion"
(Al-Quran- 2:256)
If marriage is such an obligation irrespective of your financial status, then the prophet (Sal) would have told his companions to marry.
Ignorance Is Bliss.
After having so much evidence to prove that Islam does not force people to get married and that it’s only a recommended act, why are so many Muslims going on a rampage by forcing their fellow brethren to get married? The answer to this question lies not in the knowledge of the foolish preachers, it lies in the ignorance of the general Muslim populace. Many might know that in the year 1988 Salman Rushdie published his book the ‘Satanic Verses” ridiculing our noble messenger (Sal). We all know that Rushdie is not a Muslim. He grew up asa Muslim but later became an atheist. Now the biggest joke happened when Ayatollah Khomeini the then Rawafid (Shia) ruler of Iran gave a fatwa asking every Muslim to kill Rushdie.
The truth is, Khomeini is also a kafir (Disbeliever) who insulted the companions of the prophet (Sal) and made so much shirk and kufr; this book is not enough to mention them. Sadly, even the Sunni Muslims started believing this murthad Khomeini and wanted to kill Rushdie. Muslims have deviated from the true path of Islam by blindly following half-baked online Sheikhs who have started to dictate what Muslims should and should not do. As a result of this the general Muslim masses have become asses without a direction and have started to do Bidah (innovations), Shirk (having partners with Allah (Swt)), and Kufr (disbelief).
Nowhere in Islam does it say that masturbation is haram. People are drawing implications using the verses in the Quran and a few hadiths which have nothing to do with masturbation. You can read my full article on why masturbation is halal by clicking here https://cjislam.weebly.com/why-masturbation-is-not-haram.html
The issue of marriage is arguably one of the most talked about topics among Muslims especially when they are young. Are you married? When are you getting married? Why aren't you married? The questions, posed by those who are married towards the unmarried are many. Now the question is, Is marriage an obligation or is it a Sunnah?. The answer to this is that marriage is a recommended Sunnah and is not an obligation because there is no evidence where the prophet (Sal) said that marriage is wajib (Obligatory). In all the hadiths what the prophet (Sal) said was that marriage is a Sunnah.
Abdullah bin Mas’ood (Rali), who said: “We were with some youth not finding anything, so the Messenger of Allah (Swt) said: ‘O assembly of youth. Whoever of you is able to get married, then let him do so, for it lowers the gaze and protects the privates. And whoever is unable, then it is (on him) to fast, for it is a protection” (Bukhari and Muslim and others)
From the above hadith it is very clear that the prophet (Sal) did not regard marriage as an obligation. He regarded it as a Sunnah because if it was made an obligation, it would have been a hardship upon the Ummah.
If marriage was an obligation, then the prophet (Sal) would have clearly mentioned it as an obligation or a companion would have narrated of the prophet (Sal) stating that it's an obligation.
Narrated by Aisha (Rali), the prophet (Sal) said:
"When anyone sits amidst four parts (of the woman) and the circumcised parts touch each other, a bath becomes obligatory.
(Bukhari and Muslim)
In the above hadith, in the Arabic text the word "Wajib" (Sal) is used which means "obligation".
The next evidence is as follows
Narrated by Abu Huraira:
I said, "O Allah's Messenger (Sal)! I am a young man and I am afraid that I may commit illegal sexual intercourse and I cannot afford to marry." He kept silent, and then repeated my question once again, but he kept silent. I said the same (for the third time) and he remained silent. Then repeated my question (for the fourth time), and only then the Prophet said, "O Abu Huraira! The pen has dried after writing what you are going to confront. So (it does not matter whether you) get yourself castrated or not."
(Sahih Al Bukhari).
If we look carefully at the above hadith, Abu Hurairah (Rali) told the prophet (Sal) that he cannot marry because he does not have the means to get married. The prophet(Sal) never forced him or tell him he must get married and if marriage was an obligation the prophet (Sal) would have told him to get married anyway.
Given the scenario of Abu Hurairah (Rali) fearing that he could commit Zina, the prophet (Sal) never commanded him to marry.
Narrated by`Abdullah bin `Umar (Rali):
When Hafsa, Umar's daughter became a widow because of the death of her (husband) Ibn Hudhafa As-Sahmi, who was one of the companions of the Prophet (Sal) and the one of the Badr warriors and died at Medina, Umar said, "I met the Uthman bin Affan and gave him an offer, saying, 'If you wish, I will marry Hafsa to you.' He said. 'I will think it over' I waited for a few days, then he met me and said, 'I have made up my mind not to marry at present' "Umar added, "Then I met Abu Bakr and said to him, 'If you wish, I will marry Hafsa to you.'
(Sahih Al Bukhari)
From the this hadith it can be understood that when Uthman (Rali) refused Umar (Rali)'s offer to marry his daughter stating that he does not want to marry at the moment Umar (Rali) did not tell him to get married. If it was an obligation, then Umar (Rali) would have told him to marry.
Explanation of the hadiths where the prophet (Sal) forbade celibacy.
Some scholars and laymen are of the view that marriage is wajib. This view is based on the hadiths where the prophet (Sal) Forbade celibacy to some companions. After analysing these hadiths it is clear that the context of this prohibition needs to be understood clearly to understand the hadith.
Uthman Ibn Mahzun and some others made marriage haram for themselves. This is forbidden because it is forbidden to forbid something which Allah has allowed.
This is the reason why the Prophet (Sal) forbade celibacy. This should be understood in this context. The context of these hadiths must be understood clearly to understand the hadith. These hadiths are taken out of context, like for an example the hadiths on the local moon-sighting.
Sa’d Ibn Abi Waqqaas (Rali) said: The Messenger of Allah (Sal) forbade ‘Uthmaan Ibn Mahzun to be celibate. If he had given him permission, we would have gotten ourselves castrated".
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Anas Ibn Maalik said:
"Three people came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (Sal) asking about the worship of the Prophet (Sal). When they were told, it was as if they regarded it as too little.
They said: Who are we in comparison to the Prophet (Sal)? Allaah has forgiven his past and future sins. One of them said: As for me, I will pray all night forever. Another said: I shall fast all my life and never break my fast. Another said: I shall keep away from women and never get married.
The Messenger of Allaah (Sal) came and said: “Are you the ones who said such and such? By Allaah, I am the one who fears Allaah the most among you and I am the most pious, but I fast and I break my fast, I pray and I sleep, and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.”
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Anas (Rali) reported:
Three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (Sal) to inquire about the worship of the Prophet (Sal). When they were informed, they considered their worship insignificant and said: "Where are we in comparison with the Prophet (Sal) while Allah has forgiven his past sins and future sins".
One of them said: "As for me, I shall offer Salat all night long." Another said: "I shall observe Saum (fasting) continuously and shall not break it". Another said: "I shall abstain from women and shall never marry". The Prophet (Sal) came to them and said, "Are you the people who said such and such things? By Allah, I fear Allah more than you do, and I am most obedient and dutiful among you to Him, but still I observe fast and break it; perform Salat and sleep at night and take wives. So whoever turns away from my Sunnah does not belong to me".
(Bukhari and Muslim).
From the above mentioned narrations it is very clear that in all circumstances the prophet (Sal) said clearly that marriage is a sunnah.
Aishah (Rali) reported that the Allaah’s Messenger (Sal) said:
“Marriage is a sunnah (way) of mine; and whoever does not follow my Sunnah is not of my followers.
Marry because I will display your outnumbering the other nations on Resurrection Day. Whoever has wealth, marry, and whoever does not, fast, because fasting is a restraint for him”.
(Sunan Ibn Maajah, authenticated by Sheikh al – Albani in as – Sahihah)
From face value these hadiths may look like that marriage is an obligation because celibacy was forbidden by the prophet (Sal) but a deeper research proves otherwise. The entire story of the prophet (Sal) forbidding celibacy should be understood by understanding all the available hadiths and verses of the Quran. The prophet (Sal) forbade celibacy because of the below mentioned reasons.
Aa‟ishah (Rali) reported that Khuwaylah, daughter of Hakim Bin Umayyah
Bin Harithah Bin a1 – Awqas as – Sulami (from the tribe of Sulam) visited her.
Khuwaylah was married to Uthmaan Bin Mahzun. Allaah‟s Messenger (Sal) saw her and noticed her messy appearance; so he asked „ Aisha, “O„Aisha!
What makes Khuwaylah appear so messy?”„Aisha (Rali) replied, “O Allaah‟s messenger! This woman's husband fasts during the day and prays during the Night. So it is as if she does not have a husband, and thus she neglected her appearance.”
Allah‟s Messenger (Sal) then summoned Uthmaan Bin Mahzun
And said to him, “O „Uthmaan! Are you doing that because you dislike my Sunnah?” He replied,
“By Allaah, no, O Allaah‟s Messenger! Rather, my whole Interest is to follow your Sunnah.” Allaah‟s Messenger (Sal) then said:
“Verily, I sleep and pray, fast and breakfast, and marry women. Thus fear and revere Allaah, O „Uthmaan, because your family has a right upon you, your guests have a right upon you, and yourself (body) has a right upon you. So, fast and break my fast, and pray and sleep.
(Ahmed and Abu Daawud. Graded Sahih by Sheikh al Albaani in Irwaa‟ ul – Ghaleel)
Look carefully at the above hadith. Uthman Ibn Mahzun (Rali) was austere in worship and did not have any relationship with his wife although he was married to her. And this is why the prophet (Sal) asked him;
“O „Uthmaan! Are you doing that because you dislike my Sunnah?
In another hadith Aisha (Rali), said:
Allaah‟s Messenger (Sal) said to him:
“O „Uthmaan! Monasticism bas not been enjoined upon us.
Do you not have an Example in me? By Allaah, verily, I fear Allaah and safeguard His boundaries
More than any of you.”
(Ibn Hibbaan, Ahmed and at – Tabarani-Graded Sahih by Sheikh al Albaani in Irwaa‟ ul – Ghaleel)
The monasticism mentioned above should be understood as Uthman bin Mahzun (Rali) not following the sunnah of the prophet (Sal).
From the above hadiths it is clear that some companions, including Uthman Ibn Mahzun wanted to practice monasticism by being celibate.
They forbade marriage to themselves and this is why Allah (Swt) revealed the below verse in the Quran as explained by Imam Ibn Kathir in his authentic Tafsir.
“O you who believe! Make not unlawful the Tayyibaat (all that is good as regards foods, things, deeds, beliefs, persons) which Allaah has made lawful to you, and transgress not. Verily, Allaah does not like the transgressors” (5:87)
The above verse was revealed specifically when some companions forbade marriage to themselves. Ibn Jareer (Rah) of Tafsir at Tabari narrated with his isnad that Mujaahid (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Some men, including ‘Uthmaan Ibn Mahzun and ‘Abd-Allaah Ibn ‘Amr (may Allaah be pleased with them) wanted to be celibate, and to castrate themselves, then the above verse (5:87) verse was revealed.
From the above evidences It is crystal clear that the prohibition of celibacy came because some companions went in to extremes in coming closer to Allah (Swt) in worship by going beyond the lenient middle path of our beloved messenger (Sal) and not because marriage is an Obligation.
There is a difference between forbidding something which is halal and not doing what is halal due to personal reasons.
For an example, you can wait without using the miswak due to personal reasons, but the line you transgress is when you start forbidding the miswak for yourself and others because you have no right to do that. This is why Allah (Swt) says in the above verse (Surah 5, Verse 87) to not forbid what he has made lawful.
There is a difference between forbidding a sunnah and not practising the sunnah. Let me give more examples.
Anas (Rali) reported that some of the Companions of Allah's Apostle (Sal) asked his (the Prophet's) wives about the acts that he performed in private. Someone among them (among his Companions) said:
"I will not marry women; someone among them said: I will not eat meat; and someone among them said: I will not lie down in bed. He (the Prophet (Sal)) praised Allah and glorified Him, and said: What has happened to these people that they say so and so, whereas I observe prayer and sleep too; I observe fast and suspend observing them; I marry women also? And he who turns-
Away from my Sunnah, he has no relation with Me"
(Sahih Muslim)
The meaning of what the prophet (Sal) meant by " Marriage is my sunnah and whoever does not follow my sunnah is not of me" is because of the above reason. In the above hadith, some of the companions tried to bring in something new to Islam by becoming extreme in worship. Islam is in the middle path.
It needs to be noted that even in this scenario the prophet (Sal) only said,
"And he who turns away from my Sunnah".
If marriage was wajib he would have said that it's wajib but rather he said it was a sunnah. Some of the Sahaba in the above hadith said that they will not eat meat. Refraining from eating meat as a way of being austere in worship is haram because you are bringing a new thing into Islam, which is known as Bidah (Innovation) and you are forbidding something which Allah (Swt) has made halal.
But refraining from eating meat because of personal reasons such as for an example, you were brought up in a vegetarian family before you accepted Islam and you are not used to eating meat is not a transgression because you are accepting that eating meat is allowed in Islam and you are not transgressing. It's only a personal choice.
Similarly, if you say: I don't want to get married because I fear that I won't be able to provide my wife or children is a fair reason because there is no transgression.
The evidence for this is in the following hadith.
'Abdullah b. 'Abbas reported that Khalid bin Walid, who is called the Sword of Allah had informed him that he visited Maimuna, the wife of Allah's Apostle (Sal), in the company of Allah's Messenger (Sal), and she was the sister of his mother (that of Khalid) and that of 'Ibn Abbas, and he found with her a roasted lizard which her sister Hufaida the daughter of al-Harith had brought from Najd, and she presented that lizard to Allah's Messenger (Sal). It was rare that some food was presented to the Prophet (Sal) and it was not mentioned or named.
While Allah's Messenger (Sal) was about to stretch forth his hand towards the lizard, a woman from amongst the women present there informed the Messenger of Allah (Sal) what they had presented to him.
They said: "Messenger of Allah, it is a lizard. Allah's Messenger (Sal) withdrew his hand, whereupon Khalid bin Walid said: Messenger of Allah, is a lizard forbidden? Thereupon he said: No, but it is not found in the land of my people, and I feel that I have no liking for it.
Khalid said:
I then chewed and ate it, and Allah's Messenger (Sal) was looking at me and he did not forbid (me to eat it) (Sahih Muslim).
And in another hadith 'Umar (Rali) reported:
A person asked Allah's Messenger (Sal) about the eating of the lizard, whereupon he said. "I neither eat it, nor do I prohibit it.
(Sahih Muslim)
Let us take a look at another example.
Ubayd bin`Umayr said that he heard `Aisha claiming that Allah's Messenger used to stay for a period in the house of Zaynab bint Jahsh and
Drink honey in her house. (She said) "Hafsah and I decided that when the Prophet entered upon either of us, we would say,` I smell Maghafir on you. Have you eaten Maghafir'
When he entered upon one of us, she said that to him. He replied (to her), No, but I drank honey in the house of Zaynab bint Jahsh, and I will never drink it again Then the following was revealed:
"O Prophet, why do you prohibit [yourself from] what Allah has made lawful for you, seeking the approval of your wives? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful".
(Al Quran-66:1)
(Sahih Al Bukhari)
From the above hadith the prophet (Sal) forbade for himself the drinking of honey, which Allah (Swt) had made halal. And the above verse was revealed prohibiting this action of his. From the above hadiths it is clear from the prophet (Sal) 's sunnah that refraining from doing something that is allowed is allowed in Islam as long as it does not transgress the limits.
After analysing all the above evidence we can conclude without doubt that the hadiths used by those who say that its wajib to marry is nothing but a misunderstood idea without understanding all the available evidence. Marriage is only a recommended sunnah and its not wajib.
What do the scholars say about marriage.
Ibn Khadama al Maqdisi in his book "Al Mughni" said the following
"Our colleagues differed as to whether marriage is obligatory.
The best-known opinion in our madhhab is that it is not obligatory, except when a person is afraid of committing a forbidden deed if he does not marry. In that case he should make himself chaste. This is the opinion of the majority of fuqahaa’.”
Scholars like Salih al Uthaymin and Shaikh bin Baz were also of this view. In conclusion, getting married is a recommended sunnah of the messenger (Sal) which has many benefits and at the same time it also should be noted that marriage cannot be termed as an obligation based on these evidence and masturbation is halal and a very good alternative to marriage.
C.J.Ahmed