3 Convincing Proofs Why Cohabitation Is Not Haram in Islam
C.J Ahmed-14.03.2023
Cohabitation is the practice of a man and woman living together and having sexual relations without getting married. In can also be referred as premarital sex. The acceptance of premarital sex in society depends on how a particular society is culturally or religiously conservative and there is no set definition for premarital sex. Although Islam frowns upon adultery and fornication, Islam never forbade premarital sex.
The very sentence "cohabitation" would give goosebumps or a shrug by most Muslim brothers and sisters but if we look closer in to the Shariah, we will realize that it is still possible to engage in sex outside of marriage or in other words "premarital sex" under certain situation and conditions that are halal or would not be haram in Islam. Normally in Islam, having sexual relations outside marriage is haram but this prohibition should not be understood in black and white terms. There are grey areas which makes sexual relations before marriage halal.
1.When there is fear or if there is a necessity
There are situations where man could fall in to fornicating or adultery due to certain fears or necessity. Islam has facilitated ease on this occasion and committing fornication or adultery won't be considered a sin or something that is forbidden due to the fact that the individual has a valid reason of necessity. This is how Allah(Swt) explains the principal of necessity.
"And why should you not eat of that (meat) on which Allah’s Name has been pronounced (at the time of slaughtering the animal), while He has explained to you in detail what is forbidden to you, except under compulsion of necessity?”
(Al-Quran-6:119)
And
"He has only forbidden you carrion, blood, and swine, and that which has been consecrated to any other than Allah. But who is driven by necessity, neither craving nor transgressing, it is no sin for him. For Allah is Forgiving, Compassionate."
(Al-Quran-2:173)
These verses give a clear picture that proves that something that is already made haram will become halal due to a necessity if there is no transgression. Allah(Swt) explains in theses verses when mentioning about meat which are forbidden and also says that although meat like carrion and swine are haram, it becomes halal under necessity. Let me give you another example.
A woman was brought to ‘Umar bin al Khattab May Allah be pleased with him who had been extremely thirsty, and had passed by a shepherd and asked him to give her something to drink; he had refused to give her something to drink unless she let him have his way with her. (Umar) consulted with the people as to whether he should have her stoned. ‘Ali May Allah be pleased with him said, ‘She was forced to do it, you should let her go.’ So he did so."
(Sunan Baihaqi-authenticated by Albani in Irwa al Ghaleel 7/341)
Now, look carefully at this hadith. In this hadith a woman who had committed adultery was let go because she committed adultery because she was thirsty. Umar (Rali) did not admonish her for committing adultery for water rather, he let her go. This is clear evidence that you can indulge in sex outside marriage if it is for a necessity.
"Narrated Anas (Rali):
The Prophet (sal) allowed `Abdur-Rahman bin `Auf and Az-Zubair bin Al-`Awwam to wear silk because they were suffering from an itch" .
(Sahih Al Bukhari)
In this hadith, the prophet(Sal) allowed Abdur Rahman bin auf and Zubair bin Awwam to wear silk because they had an itch. Generally wearing silk is haram for men except for embroidary but the prophet (Sal) allowed silk for the two sahabi due to a reason. When it comes to force and fear, the next reason is rape. The prophet (Sal) said,
"Allah has forgiven my nation for mistakes and forgetfulness, and what they are forced to do."
(Ibn Majah- Graded Sahih by Albani in Sahih Sunan Ibn Majah and narrated by Baihaqi and others and graded Hasan Sahih by Albani )
Rape is to force someone to have sex and this is not the fault of the victim.
Narrated Wa'il ibn Hujr,
"When a woman went out in the time of the Prophet (Sal) for prayer, a man attacked her and overpowered (raped) her. She shouted and he went off, and when a man came by, she said: That (man) did such and such to me. And when a company of the Emigrants came by, she said: That man did such and such to me. They went and seized the man whom they thought had had intercourse with her and brought him to her. She said: Yes, this is he. Then they brought him to the Messenger of Allah (Sal). When he (the Prophet) was about to pass sentence, the man who (actually) had assaulted her stood up and said: Messenger of Allah, I am the man who did it to her. He (the Prophet) said to her: Go away, for Allah has forgiven you. But he told the man some good words (Abu Dawud said: meaning the man who was seized), and of the man who had had intercourse with her, he said: Stone him to death. He also said: He has repented to such an extent that if the people of Medina had repented similarly, it would have been accepted from them.
(Abu Dawud-Graded Hasan Sahih by Albani)
In this hadith, a woman was raped, and the prophet (Sal) did not admonish her or blame her because she was forced to have sex. Unfortunately nowadays if a girl or woman is sexually assaulted, foolish and ignorant Muslims are quick to blame the innocent victim.
2. Having sex with slaves.
Islam never banned slavery and the concept of slavery in Islam is different from that of the the western world. Slaves during the time of colonization in the western world were treated like farm animals and their rights were completely violated. The Islamic concept of slavery is based on mercy,kindness and rights for the slave.
Narrated by Al-Ma'rur: At Ar-Rabadha,
"I met Abu Dhar who was wearing a cloak, and his slave, too, was wearing a similar one. I asked about the reason for it. He replied, "I abused a person by calling his mother with bad names." The Prophet said to me, 'O Abu Dhar! Did you abuse him by calling his mother with bad names You still have some characteristics of ignorance. Your slaves are your brothers and Allah has put them under your command. So whoever has a brother under his command should feed him of what he eats and dress him of what he wears. Do not ask them (slaves) to do things beyond their capacity (power) and if you do so, then help them.'
(Bukhari)
Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (Sal) as saying: "When the slave of anyone amongst you prepares food for him and he serves him after having sat close to (and undergoing the hardship of) heat and smoke, he should make him (the slave) sit along with him and make him eat (along with him), and if the food seems to run short, then he should spare some portion for him (from his own share) - (another narrator) Dawud said:" i. e. a morsel or two".
(Sahih Muslim)
Another clear proof that premarital sex is halal is certain circumstances is the circumstance of having sex with your slaves. Islam forbids force and always teaches to be gentle even when having sex. The prophet (Sal) advised Jabir (Rali) by saying,
‘Slow down, and enter at night, so that she who has not combed may comb her hair, and she who has not shaved may shave her private area.’ Then he said to me, ‘When you enter upon her, then be wise and gentle.’”
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Allah(Swt) says in the Quran,
"O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by force"
(Al-Quran-4:19)
Islam has allowed sexual relations with ones slaves and this does not require marriage. Allah(Swt) says,
"And those who guard their private parts. Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, - for them, they are free from blame
(Al Quran-23.5-7)
A Muslim can have sex with a slave women if she is not pregnant but if she happens to be pregnant, then Intercourse is forbidden until she gives birth.
Ruwayfi’ ibn Thaabit al-Ansaari said:
"I heard the Messenger of Allaah (Sal) say on the day of Hunayn:
“It is not permissible for any man who believes in Allaah and the Last Day to irrigate the crop of another else – meaning to have intercourse with a woman who is pregnant. And it is not permissible for a man who believes in Allaah and the Last Day to have intercourse with a captured woman until he has established that she is not pregnant"
(Abu-Dawud-graded Sahih by Albani)
Now, the question might rise that there are no slaves nowadays in this modern world. This is not true because you can still find slaves in many parts of the world like in India, Bangladesh, Africa and other parts of the world.
3Having less sex can cause health problems
Having less sex could cause serious health problems. in a March 1, 2010
article published by Harvard,
https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/lack-of-sex-affects-the-heart
mentioned the following,
"The latest report from the ongoing Massachusetts Male Aging Study suggests
that, for men, having sex once a month or less can be a worrisome sign of
cardiovascular disease, even in men who have normal erections (American
Journal of Cardiology, Jan. 15, 2010). The researchers recommend that
doctors ask their male patients about sexual activity as a possible window
into hidden cardiovascular disease."
Not only does it effect the heart, less sexual intercourse can effect your
immune system as well. A research published by Psychologists in
Pennsylvania have shown that people who have sex once or twice a week
strengthens
their immune systems. The research results ere published in "New
scientist" dated 17 April 1999 and says the following,
"Psychologists in Pennsylvania have shown that people who have sex once or
twice a week get a boost to their immune systems.Scientists can evaluate
how robust our immune systems are by measuring levels
of immunoglobulin A (IgA), an antigen found in saliva and mucosal linings.
“IgA is the first line of defence against colds and flu,” says Carl Charnetski of
Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre. IgA binds to pathogens at all the points of entry to the body, then calls on the immune system to destroy them.To find out if sex can alter IgA levels, Charnetski and his colleague FrankBrennan asked 111 Wilkes undergraduates, aged 16 to 23, how frequently they’d had sex over the previous month. They also measured levels of IgA in the
volunteers’ saliva.The results showed that participants who had sex less than once a week had a
tiny increase in IgA over those who abstained completely. Those who had one or two sexual encounters each week had a 30 per cent rise in levels of the
antigen.But people who had very frequent sex—three times a week or more—had
lower IgA levels than the abstainers. The researchers presented the results
thisweek at a meeting of the Eastern Psychological Association in Providence,"
(https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg16221820-800-can-regular-sex-ward-off-colds-and-flu/)
Having less or no sex can cause health problems and dating will give a good avenue for a Muslim to have sex if it is for a necessity. It is clear that dating is not haram in Islam.
Conclusion
From all these facts and evidence from the Quran and the authentic Sunnah, it is clear that cohabitation is not haram under certain reasons. Not all forms of pre-marriage or premarital sex are haram in Islam.
Cohabitation is the practice of a man and woman living together and having sexual relations without getting married. In can also be referred as premarital sex. The acceptance of premarital sex in society depends on how a particular society is culturally or religiously conservative and there is no set definition for premarital sex. Although Islam frowns upon adultery and fornication, Islam never forbade premarital sex.
The very sentence "cohabitation" would give goosebumps or a shrug by most Muslim brothers and sisters but if we look closer in to the Shariah, we will realize that it is still possible to engage in sex outside of marriage or in other words "premarital sex" under certain situation and conditions that are halal or would not be haram in Islam. Normally in Islam, having sexual relations outside marriage is haram but this prohibition should not be understood in black and white terms. There are grey areas which makes sexual relations before marriage halal.
1.When there is fear or if there is a necessity
There are situations where man could fall in to fornicating or adultery due to certain fears or necessity. Islam has facilitated ease on this occasion and committing fornication or adultery won't be considered a sin or something that is forbidden due to the fact that the individual has a valid reason of necessity. This is how Allah(Swt) explains the principal of necessity.
"And why should you not eat of that (meat) on which Allah’s Name has been pronounced (at the time of slaughtering the animal), while He has explained to you in detail what is forbidden to you, except under compulsion of necessity?”
(Al-Quran-6:119)
And
"He has only forbidden you carrion, blood, and swine, and that which has been consecrated to any other than Allah. But who is driven by necessity, neither craving nor transgressing, it is no sin for him. For Allah is Forgiving, Compassionate."
(Al-Quran-2:173)
These verses give a clear picture that proves that something that is already made haram will become halal due to a necessity if there is no transgression. Allah(Swt) explains in theses verses when mentioning about meat which are forbidden and also says that although meat like carrion and swine are haram, it becomes halal under necessity. Let me give you another example.
A woman was brought to ‘Umar bin al Khattab May Allah be pleased with him who had been extremely thirsty, and had passed by a shepherd and asked him to give her something to drink; he had refused to give her something to drink unless she let him have his way with her. (Umar) consulted with the people as to whether he should have her stoned. ‘Ali May Allah be pleased with him said, ‘She was forced to do it, you should let her go.’ So he did so."
(Sunan Baihaqi-authenticated by Albani in Irwa al Ghaleel 7/341)
Now, look carefully at this hadith. In this hadith a woman who had committed adultery was let go because she committed adultery because she was thirsty. Umar (Rali) did not admonish her for committing adultery for water rather, he let her go. This is clear evidence that you can indulge in sex outside marriage if it is for a necessity.
"Narrated Anas (Rali):
The Prophet (sal) allowed `Abdur-Rahman bin `Auf and Az-Zubair bin Al-`Awwam to wear silk because they were suffering from an itch" .
(Sahih Al Bukhari)
In this hadith, the prophet(Sal) allowed Abdur Rahman bin auf and Zubair bin Awwam to wear silk because they had an itch. Generally wearing silk is haram for men except for embroidary but the prophet (Sal) allowed silk for the two sahabi due to a reason. When it comes to force and fear, the next reason is rape. The prophet (Sal) said,
"Allah has forgiven my nation for mistakes and forgetfulness, and what they are forced to do."
(Ibn Majah- Graded Sahih by Albani in Sahih Sunan Ibn Majah and narrated by Baihaqi and others and graded Hasan Sahih by Albani )
Rape is to force someone to have sex and this is not the fault of the victim.
Narrated Wa'il ibn Hujr,
"When a woman went out in the time of the Prophet (Sal) for prayer, a man attacked her and overpowered (raped) her. She shouted and he went off, and when a man came by, she said: That (man) did such and such to me. And when a company of the Emigrants came by, she said: That man did such and such to me. They went and seized the man whom they thought had had intercourse with her and brought him to her. She said: Yes, this is he. Then they brought him to the Messenger of Allah (Sal). When he (the Prophet) was about to pass sentence, the man who (actually) had assaulted her stood up and said: Messenger of Allah, I am the man who did it to her. He (the Prophet) said to her: Go away, for Allah has forgiven you. But he told the man some good words (Abu Dawud said: meaning the man who was seized), and of the man who had had intercourse with her, he said: Stone him to death. He also said: He has repented to such an extent that if the people of Medina had repented similarly, it would have been accepted from them.
(Abu Dawud-Graded Hasan Sahih by Albani)
In this hadith, a woman was raped, and the prophet (Sal) did not admonish her or blame her because she was forced to have sex. Unfortunately nowadays if a girl or woman is sexually assaulted, foolish and ignorant Muslims are quick to blame the innocent victim.
2. Having sex with slaves.
Islam never banned slavery and the concept of slavery in Islam is different from that of the the western world. Slaves during the time of colonization in the western world were treated like farm animals and their rights were completely violated. The Islamic concept of slavery is based on mercy,kindness and rights for the slave.
Narrated by Al-Ma'rur: At Ar-Rabadha,
"I met Abu Dhar who was wearing a cloak, and his slave, too, was wearing a similar one. I asked about the reason for it. He replied, "I abused a person by calling his mother with bad names." The Prophet said to me, 'O Abu Dhar! Did you abuse him by calling his mother with bad names You still have some characteristics of ignorance. Your slaves are your brothers and Allah has put them under your command. So whoever has a brother under his command should feed him of what he eats and dress him of what he wears. Do not ask them (slaves) to do things beyond their capacity (power) and if you do so, then help them.'
(Bukhari)
Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (Sal) as saying: "When the slave of anyone amongst you prepares food for him and he serves him after having sat close to (and undergoing the hardship of) heat and smoke, he should make him (the slave) sit along with him and make him eat (along with him), and if the food seems to run short, then he should spare some portion for him (from his own share) - (another narrator) Dawud said:" i. e. a morsel or two".
(Sahih Muslim)
Another clear proof that premarital sex is halal is certain circumstances is the circumstance of having sex with your slaves. Islam forbids force and always teaches to be gentle even when having sex. The prophet (Sal) advised Jabir (Rali) by saying,
‘Slow down, and enter at night, so that she who has not combed may comb her hair, and she who has not shaved may shave her private area.’ Then he said to me, ‘When you enter upon her, then be wise and gentle.’”
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Allah(Swt) says in the Quran,
"O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by force"
(Al-Quran-4:19)
Islam has allowed sexual relations with ones slaves and this does not require marriage. Allah(Swt) says,
"And those who guard their private parts. Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, - for them, they are free from blame
(Al Quran-23.5-7)
A Muslim can have sex with a slave women if she is not pregnant but if she happens to be pregnant, then Intercourse is forbidden until she gives birth.
Ruwayfi’ ibn Thaabit al-Ansaari said:
"I heard the Messenger of Allaah (Sal) say on the day of Hunayn:
“It is not permissible for any man who believes in Allaah and the Last Day to irrigate the crop of another else – meaning to have intercourse with a woman who is pregnant. And it is not permissible for a man who believes in Allaah and the Last Day to have intercourse with a captured woman until he has established that she is not pregnant"
(Abu-Dawud-graded Sahih by Albani)
Now, the question might rise that there are no slaves nowadays in this modern world. This is not true because you can still find slaves in many parts of the world like in India, Bangladesh, Africa and other parts of the world.
3Having less sex can cause health problems
Having less sex could cause serious health problems. in a March 1, 2010
article published by Harvard,
https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/lack-of-sex-affects-the-heart
mentioned the following,
"The latest report from the ongoing Massachusetts Male Aging Study suggests
that, for men, having sex once a month or less can be a worrisome sign of
cardiovascular disease, even in men who have normal erections (American
Journal of Cardiology, Jan. 15, 2010). The researchers recommend that
doctors ask their male patients about sexual activity as a possible window
into hidden cardiovascular disease."
Not only does it effect the heart, less sexual intercourse can effect your
immune system as well. A research published by Psychologists in
Pennsylvania have shown that people who have sex once or twice a week
strengthens
their immune systems. The research results ere published in "New
scientist" dated 17 April 1999 and says the following,
"Psychologists in Pennsylvania have shown that people who have sex once or
twice a week get a boost to their immune systems.Scientists can evaluate
how robust our immune systems are by measuring levels
of immunoglobulin A (IgA), an antigen found in saliva and mucosal linings.
“IgA is the first line of defence against colds and flu,” says Carl Charnetski of
Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre. IgA binds to pathogens at all the points of entry to the body, then calls on the immune system to destroy them.To find out if sex can alter IgA levels, Charnetski and his colleague FrankBrennan asked 111 Wilkes undergraduates, aged 16 to 23, how frequently they’d had sex over the previous month. They also measured levels of IgA in the
volunteers’ saliva.The results showed that participants who had sex less than once a week had a
tiny increase in IgA over those who abstained completely. Those who had one or two sexual encounters each week had a 30 per cent rise in levels of the
antigen.But people who had very frequent sex—three times a week or more—had
lower IgA levels than the abstainers. The researchers presented the results
thisweek at a meeting of the Eastern Psychological Association in Providence,"
(https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg16221820-800-can-regular-sex-ward-off-colds-and-flu/)
Having less or no sex can cause health problems and dating will give a good avenue for a Muslim to have sex if it is for a necessity. It is clear that dating is not haram in Islam.
Conclusion
From all these facts and evidence from the Quran and the authentic Sunnah, it is clear that cohabitation is not haram under certain reasons. Not all forms of pre-marriage or premarital sex are haram in Islam.