Why it is Not Haram to Have Sexually Intrusive Thoughts
C.J Ahmed-09.06.2023
There is nothing haram in having sexually intrusive thoughts and such thoughts are natural. Some Muslims think that it is haram to have such thoughts and worry too much causing a lot of psychological distress.
The prophet (Sal) said,
"Allah has forgiven my Ummah for whatever crosses their mind so long as they do not speak of it or act upon it.”
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Ibn Abbas (Rali) narrated that the Prophet (Sal) said, relating from his Lord, may He be glorified and exalted: “Allah decreed good deeds and bad deeds, then He explained that. Whoever thinks of doing a good deed then does not do it, Allah will write it down as one complete good deed. If he thinks of doing a good deed and then does it, Allah (May He be glorified and exalted) will write it down between ten and seven hundred fold, or many more. If he thinks of doing a bad deed then he does not do it, Allah will write it down as one complete good deed, and if he thinks of it then does it, Allah will write it down as one bad deed.”
(Sahih Al Bukhari and Muslim)
It is clear that having any kind of sexual fantasies evenif it involve kinky fetishes I not haram in Islam. Unfortunately Some wrong fatwa from madhhabs has declared that having sexual fantasies is haram making it hard for those who blindly follow madhhabs to to engge in their day to day lives. My advice to them is to only stick to the Quran and he authentic hadiths and shun all these madhhabs and sects.
Wrong Fatwas discouraging Sexual Thoughts
Some of the wrong fatwas on sexual fantasies is as follows,
Ibn al-Haj al-Maliki said:
“A man should refrain from thinking such thoughts and tell others to avoid this behaviour too, i.e., this obnoxious characteristic that has unfortunately become very common, which is when a man sees a woman whom he likes, he goes to his wife and has intercourse with her, and starts to imagine that woman whom he has seen.
This is a kind of zina (adultery) because of what our scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) have said about the one who takes a tankard and drinks water from it, but he imagines that it is alcohol that he is drinking – so that water becomes haram for him.
What we have mentioned does not apply only to men, rather it also includes women, and it applies even more so to them, because what is common nowadays is that they go out or look out from windows, and if they see someone whom they like, they start thinking about him, then when they have intercourse with their husbands they bring that image that they have seen to mind, so each of them may be committing zina in some sense – we ask Allah to keep us safe from that.
He should not only avoid that himself, he should also draw his family’s and other people’s attention to it, and tell them that this is haram and is not permitted.” (Al-Madkhil (2-194, 195)
Ibn Muflih al-Hanbali said:
“Ibn ‘Aqil stated in al-Ri’ayah al-Kubra that if a man imagines the image of another woman who is forbidden to him whilst having intercourse with his wife, he is sinning, but a passing thought that he cannot prevent does not constitute a sin.” (Al-Adab al-Shar’iyyah -1-98)
Even modern day science regards sexual fantasies as normal. A PsychologyToday article dated August 31, 2022 titled “Sexual Fantasies Are a Healthy Way to Exercise Imagination” said the following,
“A sexual fantasy is any thought that gives us sexual pleasure. This runs full spectrum beginning with fleeting thoughts that are so rudimentary that we could call them "pre-verbal,” like when we glimpse an attractive part of someone out of the corner of our eye (a person's hair, clothing, manner of walking, etc.). At the opposite end of the same spectrum, we might fantasize a detailed narrative that includes a memory of a truly wonderful weekend up in a cabin overlooking the ocean with a special someone from our past.” (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sexual-futurist/202208/sexual-fantasies-are-healthy-way-exercise-imagination)
Having sexual thoughts which are intrusive is no haram.
There is nothing haram in having sexually intrusive thoughts and such thoughts are natural. Some Muslims think that it is haram to have such thoughts and worry too much causing a lot of psychological distress.
The prophet (Sal) said,
"Allah has forgiven my Ummah for whatever crosses their mind so long as they do not speak of it or act upon it.”
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Ibn Abbas (Rali) narrated that the Prophet (Sal) said, relating from his Lord, may He be glorified and exalted: “Allah decreed good deeds and bad deeds, then He explained that. Whoever thinks of doing a good deed then does not do it, Allah will write it down as one complete good deed. If he thinks of doing a good deed and then does it, Allah (May He be glorified and exalted) will write it down between ten and seven hundred fold, or many more. If he thinks of doing a bad deed then he does not do it, Allah will write it down as one complete good deed, and if he thinks of it then does it, Allah will write it down as one bad deed.”
(Sahih Al Bukhari and Muslim)
It is clear that having any kind of sexual fantasies evenif it involve kinky fetishes I not haram in Islam. Unfortunately Some wrong fatwa from madhhabs has declared that having sexual fantasies is haram making it hard for those who blindly follow madhhabs to to engge in their day to day lives. My advice to them is to only stick to the Quran and he authentic hadiths and shun all these madhhabs and sects.
Wrong Fatwas discouraging Sexual Thoughts
Some of the wrong fatwas on sexual fantasies is as follows,
Ibn al-Haj al-Maliki said:
“A man should refrain from thinking such thoughts and tell others to avoid this behaviour too, i.e., this obnoxious characteristic that has unfortunately become very common, which is when a man sees a woman whom he likes, he goes to his wife and has intercourse with her, and starts to imagine that woman whom he has seen.
This is a kind of zina (adultery) because of what our scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) have said about the one who takes a tankard and drinks water from it, but he imagines that it is alcohol that he is drinking – so that water becomes haram for him.
What we have mentioned does not apply only to men, rather it also includes women, and it applies even more so to them, because what is common nowadays is that they go out or look out from windows, and if they see someone whom they like, they start thinking about him, then when they have intercourse with their husbands they bring that image that they have seen to mind, so each of them may be committing zina in some sense – we ask Allah to keep us safe from that.
He should not only avoid that himself, he should also draw his family’s and other people’s attention to it, and tell them that this is haram and is not permitted.” (Al-Madkhil (2-194, 195)
Ibn Muflih al-Hanbali said:
“Ibn ‘Aqil stated in al-Ri’ayah al-Kubra that if a man imagines the image of another woman who is forbidden to him whilst having intercourse with his wife, he is sinning, but a passing thought that he cannot prevent does not constitute a sin.” (Al-Adab al-Shar’iyyah -1-98)
Even modern day science regards sexual fantasies as normal. A PsychologyToday article dated August 31, 2022 titled “Sexual Fantasies Are a Healthy Way to Exercise Imagination” said the following,
“A sexual fantasy is any thought that gives us sexual pleasure. This runs full spectrum beginning with fleeting thoughts that are so rudimentary that we could call them "pre-verbal,” like when we glimpse an attractive part of someone out of the corner of our eye (a person's hair, clothing, manner of walking, etc.). At the opposite end of the same spectrum, we might fantasize a detailed narrative that includes a memory of a truly wonderful weekend up in a cabin overlooking the ocean with a special someone from our past.” (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sexual-futurist/202208/sexual-fantasies-are-healthy-way-exercise-imagination)
Having sexual thoughts which are intrusive is no haram.