Why Touching a Woman Is Not Haram in Islam with 3 Reasons
C.J Ahmed-18.04.2023
There is a general opinion among Muslims that it is not allowed for a man to tuch a woman he is not related to. This view is completely wrong because tere is clear evidence from reliable hadiths to prove that a man can indeed touch a non related woman.
1) Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported:
“A slave woman of Madīnah would take hold of the hand of the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) and would take him wherever she wished” (Bukhari)
If touching the hand was haram, the prophet (sal) would not have held the hand of the woman as mentiond in this hadith. Some will try o argue that the slave mentiond in the above hadith hd not ttained puberty or she was a slave who belonged to the prphet (sal). Non of these arguments have basis in Islam and lacks evidence.
2) Narrated Ar-Rabi'bint Mu'auwidh:
“We used to take part in holy battles with the Prophet (sal) by providing the people with water and serving them and bringing the killed and the wounded back to Medina.”(Bukhari)
In this hadith, the women used to help the wounded men and there is no mention of them being old not to touchthe men and if touhing the opposite se as haram, the prophet (sal) would have forbidden the women from helpingthw wounded men.
3)There is evidence that the prophet (sal) used to enter Umm Haraam’s house and she would groom his hair. Anas ibn Malik (Rali) narrated,
The prophet (sal) used to enter upon Umm Haraam bint Milhaan and she would give him food. Umm Haraam was married to ‘Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit. One day the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) entered upon her, and she provided him with food and started grooming his head. Then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) slept, then he woke up smiling. Umm Haraam asked, "What makes you smile, O Messenger of Allaah?" He said, "Some people of my ummah were shown to me (in my dream) fighting for the sake of Allaah, sailing in the middle of the seas like kings on the thrones or like kings sitting on their thrones." (The narrator Ishaq is not sure as to which expression was correct). Umm Haraam added, "I said, 'O Messenger of Allaah! Pray to Allaah to make me one of them.' " So the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) prayed to Allaah for her and then laid his head down (and slept). Then he woke up smiling (again). (Umm Haraam added): I said, "What makes you smile, O Messenger of Allaah?" He said, "Some people of my ummah were shown to me (in my dream) fighting for the sake of Allaah." He said the same as he had said before. I said, "O Messenger of Allaah! Pray to Allaah to make me one of them." He said, "You will be among the first ones." Then Umm Haraam sailed across the sea during the Caliphate of Mu’aawiya ibn Abi Sufyaan, and she fell down from her riding animal after coming ashore, and died. (Bukhari and Muslim)
There is much debate about the relationship of Umm Haraam towards the prophet (sal) and some scholars are of the view that she was the prophet’s aunt hence she combing his hair is allowed but this is only speculation and not based on concrete evidence. Allah (swt) says,
“They only speculate” (Al Quran-45:24)
There is no authentic evidence to prove that Umm Haraam was a mahram for the prophet (sal).
Regarding the hadiths which discourage touching a womens hand or body
There are a few hadiths which discourage touching a woman and below are some of them,
Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said:
The prophet (sal) said, “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.” (Tabarani-Graded Sahih by Albani)
The above hadith does not specifically mention touching the hand of a woman and touching could mean several things and touch also means having sexual intercourse a explained in the following erse in the Quran,
“She (Mary) said: ‘My Lord! How can I have a child when no mortal hath touched me?’”(3:47)
“If ye divorce them before ye have touched them …” (2:237)
So, touching would generally mean to touch with sexual desire and the normal shaking of hands between the opposite sex is not sexual in nature. Sheikh ul Islam Ibn Tayiyyah said the following as an explanation of touching,
“So, whoever assumes that Almighty Allah’s saying, “… or ye have touched women, …” includes general touching without desire has exceeded far beyond the language of the Qur’an and that of people. For if “touching” in which a man and a woman are included is mentioned, it is known that it refers to touching with desire. Similarly, if “sexual intercourse” in which a man and a woman are included is mentioned, it is well known that it refers to actual sexual intercourse and nothing else.”(Fatawa Sheikh Al-Islam Ibn Taimiyah, vol. 21, pp. 223-224)
Let me explain he hadiths which state that the prophet (sal) never touched the hand of a woman.
Aisha (rali) narrated,
Whoever among the believing women agreed to that had passed the test, and when the women agreed to that, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to them: “Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’ No, by Allaah, the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman, rather they would give their oath of allegiance with words only.” And ‘Aa’ishah said: “By Allaah, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) only took the oath of allegiance from the women in the manner prescribed by Allaah, and the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman. When he had taken their oath of allegiance he would say, ‘I have accepted your oath of allegiance verbally.’”(Muslim)
It was narrated from ‘Urwah that ‘Aisha told him about the women’s oath of allegiance: “The Messenger of Allaah (sl) never touched any woman with his hand. He would explain to the woman what the oath of allegiance implied, and when she accepted, he would say ‘Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’”(Muslim)
It was narrated that Umaymah the daughter of Raqeeqah said: The Messenger of Allaah (sal) said, “I do not shake hands with women.”(Nasai and Ibn Majah-Graded Sahih by Albani)
In this hadiths the prophet (sal) did not shake or touch the hands of the women when they were giving pledge and this cannot be taken as evidence to forbid the shaking of hands between the opposite gender because what the prophet (sal) did was personal and just because he personally did not shake hands with women does not mean it is prohibited or disliked.
Jabir bin Abdullah (rali) reported the Messenger of Allah (sal) as sayings:
He who eats garlic or onion must keep away from us. Or he said: must keep away from our mosque or must sit in his house. A dish containing green vegetables was brought to him, and noticing that it had an odour he asked (about it). He was told that it contained some vegetables. He then said: Bring it near, to one of his companion who was with him. When he saw it, he abominated eating it, and said: eat for I hold intimate converse with one with whom you do not. Ahmad bin Salih said: Ibn Wahb explained the word Badr as meaning dish."
(Abu Dawud-graded sahih by Albani)
In this hadith the prophet (sal) did not like eating some vegetable which had a bad odour but although he personally hated it, did not forbid his companions from eating it.
There is a general opinion among Muslims that it is not allowed for a man to tuch a woman he is not related to. This view is completely wrong because tere is clear evidence from reliable hadiths to prove that a man can indeed touch a non related woman.
1) Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported:
“A slave woman of Madīnah would take hold of the hand of the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) and would take him wherever she wished” (Bukhari)
If touching the hand was haram, the prophet (sal) would not have held the hand of the woman as mentiond in this hadith. Some will try o argue that the slave mentiond in the above hadith hd not ttained puberty or she was a slave who belonged to the prphet (sal). Non of these arguments have basis in Islam and lacks evidence.
2) Narrated Ar-Rabi'bint Mu'auwidh:
“We used to take part in holy battles with the Prophet (sal) by providing the people with water and serving them and bringing the killed and the wounded back to Medina.”(Bukhari)
In this hadith, the women used to help the wounded men and there is no mention of them being old not to touchthe men and if touhing the opposite se as haram, the prophet (sal) would have forbidden the women from helpingthw wounded men.
3)There is evidence that the prophet (sal) used to enter Umm Haraam’s house and she would groom his hair. Anas ibn Malik (Rali) narrated,
The prophet (sal) used to enter upon Umm Haraam bint Milhaan and she would give him food. Umm Haraam was married to ‘Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit. One day the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) entered upon her, and she provided him with food and started grooming his head. Then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) slept, then he woke up smiling. Umm Haraam asked, "What makes you smile, O Messenger of Allaah?" He said, "Some people of my ummah were shown to me (in my dream) fighting for the sake of Allaah, sailing in the middle of the seas like kings on the thrones or like kings sitting on their thrones." (The narrator Ishaq is not sure as to which expression was correct). Umm Haraam added, "I said, 'O Messenger of Allaah! Pray to Allaah to make me one of them.' " So the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) prayed to Allaah for her and then laid his head down (and slept). Then he woke up smiling (again). (Umm Haraam added): I said, "What makes you smile, O Messenger of Allaah?" He said, "Some people of my ummah were shown to me (in my dream) fighting for the sake of Allaah." He said the same as he had said before. I said, "O Messenger of Allaah! Pray to Allaah to make me one of them." He said, "You will be among the first ones." Then Umm Haraam sailed across the sea during the Caliphate of Mu’aawiya ibn Abi Sufyaan, and she fell down from her riding animal after coming ashore, and died. (Bukhari and Muslim)
There is much debate about the relationship of Umm Haraam towards the prophet (sal) and some scholars are of the view that she was the prophet’s aunt hence she combing his hair is allowed but this is only speculation and not based on concrete evidence. Allah (swt) says,
“They only speculate” (Al Quran-45:24)
There is no authentic evidence to prove that Umm Haraam was a mahram for the prophet (sal).
Regarding the hadiths which discourage touching a womens hand or body
There are a few hadiths which discourage touching a woman and below are some of them,
Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said:
The prophet (sal) said, “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.” (Tabarani-Graded Sahih by Albani)
The above hadith does not specifically mention touching the hand of a woman and touching could mean several things and touch also means having sexual intercourse a explained in the following erse in the Quran,
“She (Mary) said: ‘My Lord! How can I have a child when no mortal hath touched me?’”(3:47)
“If ye divorce them before ye have touched them …” (2:237)
So, touching would generally mean to touch with sexual desire and the normal shaking of hands between the opposite sex is not sexual in nature. Sheikh ul Islam Ibn Tayiyyah said the following as an explanation of touching,
“So, whoever assumes that Almighty Allah’s saying, “… or ye have touched women, …” includes general touching without desire has exceeded far beyond the language of the Qur’an and that of people. For if “touching” in which a man and a woman are included is mentioned, it is known that it refers to touching with desire. Similarly, if “sexual intercourse” in which a man and a woman are included is mentioned, it is well known that it refers to actual sexual intercourse and nothing else.”(Fatawa Sheikh Al-Islam Ibn Taimiyah, vol. 21, pp. 223-224)
Let me explain he hadiths which state that the prophet (sal) never touched the hand of a woman.
Aisha (rali) narrated,
Whoever among the believing women agreed to that had passed the test, and when the women agreed to that, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to them: “Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’ No, by Allaah, the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman, rather they would give their oath of allegiance with words only.” And ‘Aa’ishah said: “By Allaah, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) only took the oath of allegiance from the women in the manner prescribed by Allaah, and the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman. When he had taken their oath of allegiance he would say, ‘I have accepted your oath of allegiance verbally.’”(Muslim)
It was narrated from ‘Urwah that ‘Aisha told him about the women’s oath of allegiance: “The Messenger of Allaah (sl) never touched any woman with his hand. He would explain to the woman what the oath of allegiance implied, and when she accepted, he would say ‘Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’”(Muslim)
It was narrated that Umaymah the daughter of Raqeeqah said: The Messenger of Allaah (sal) said, “I do not shake hands with women.”(Nasai and Ibn Majah-Graded Sahih by Albani)
In this hadiths the prophet (sal) did not shake or touch the hands of the women when they were giving pledge and this cannot be taken as evidence to forbid the shaking of hands between the opposite gender because what the prophet (sal) did was personal and just because he personally did not shake hands with women does not mean it is prohibited or disliked.
Jabir bin Abdullah (rali) reported the Messenger of Allah (sal) as sayings:
He who eats garlic or onion must keep away from us. Or he said: must keep away from our mosque or must sit in his house. A dish containing green vegetables was brought to him, and noticing that it had an odour he asked (about it). He was told that it contained some vegetables. He then said: Bring it near, to one of his companion who was with him. When he saw it, he abominated eating it, and said: eat for I hold intimate converse with one with whom you do not. Ahmad bin Salih said: Ibn Wahb explained the word Badr as meaning dish."
(Abu Dawud-graded sahih by Albani)
In this hadith the prophet (sal) did not like eating some vegetable which had a bad odour but although he personally hated it, did not forbid his companions from eating it.