Why Kissing Before Marriage Is Not Haram in Islam with Proofs
C.J Ahmed-15.03.2023
Kissing is a form of touching another person using the lips and this is not haram before marriage because Even the prophet (sal) touched the hand of a slave woman. Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported:
“A slave girl of Madīnah would take hold of the hand of the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) and would take him wherever she wished” (Bukhari)
Some scholars forbid kissing a woman before marriage stating the below hadiths,
Ibn Mas‘ūd (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: A man kissed a woman so he came to the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) and told him of what he did. Thereupon Allah, the Almighty revealed the verse: {And establish prayer at the two ends of the day and at the approach of the night. Indeed, good deeds do away with misdeeds.} (Sūrat Hūd: 114). The man said: "O Messenger of Allah, is this (verse) for me?" He replied: "For everybody of my Ummah, all of them."(Bukhari and Muslim)
Narrated Musa bin Talhah:
that Abu Al-Yasar said: "A woman came to me selling dates. I said to her: 'There are better dates than these in the house.' So she entered the house with me. I had an urge for her so I began kissing her. I went to Abu Bakr and mentioned that to him, so he said: 'Cover what you have done, repent, do not inform any one, and never do it again.' So I went to 'Umar and mentioned that to him. He said: 'Cover what you have done, repent, do not inform any one, and never do it again.' Then I went to the Prophet (sal) and mentioned it to him." He said: 'Is this how you take care of the wife of someone who is away fighting in Allah's cause?" Such that he had wished he had not accepted Islam until that very time, and he thought that he must be one of the people of the Fire." He said: "The Messenger of Allah (sal) bowed his head for a long time, until Allah revealed to him: And perform the Salat, at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds. That is a reminder for the mindful (11:114). Abu Al-Yasar said: "So I went to him and the Messenger of Allah (sal) recited it for me. A companion of his said: "O Messenger of Allah! Is this specific, or is it for the people in general?" He said: "Rather it is for the people in general." What needs to be understood is” (Tirmidhi-graded authentic by Sheikh Albani)
The above hadiths when understood from the text is clear that the companion kissed the woman with lust and it is not a major sin to kiss a woman outside marriage because in another hadith, the prophet said,
Ibn 'Abbas (rali) narrated, 'When Ma'iz came to the Prophet (sal) (admitting that he had committed adultery), he said to him, "Perhaps you have just kissed, or touched or looked (at the woman)." Ma'iz said,'No, O Messenger of Allah.' (Bukhari)
What needs to be understood is the intention. You can kiss before marriage with good .intentions. Umar(Rali) narrated, The prophet(Sal) said,
"Actions are according to intentions, and everyone will get what was intended"
(Bukhari and Muslim)
It is clear that kissing before marriage is not haram in Islam
Kissing is a form of touching another person using the lips and this is not haram before marriage because Even the prophet (sal) touched the hand of a slave woman. Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported:
“A slave girl of Madīnah would take hold of the hand of the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) and would take him wherever she wished” (Bukhari)
Some scholars forbid kissing a woman before marriage stating the below hadiths,
Ibn Mas‘ūd (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: A man kissed a woman so he came to the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) and told him of what he did. Thereupon Allah, the Almighty revealed the verse: {And establish prayer at the two ends of the day and at the approach of the night. Indeed, good deeds do away with misdeeds.} (Sūrat Hūd: 114). The man said: "O Messenger of Allah, is this (verse) for me?" He replied: "For everybody of my Ummah, all of them."(Bukhari and Muslim)
Narrated Musa bin Talhah:
that Abu Al-Yasar said: "A woman came to me selling dates. I said to her: 'There are better dates than these in the house.' So she entered the house with me. I had an urge for her so I began kissing her. I went to Abu Bakr and mentioned that to him, so he said: 'Cover what you have done, repent, do not inform any one, and never do it again.' So I went to 'Umar and mentioned that to him. He said: 'Cover what you have done, repent, do not inform any one, and never do it again.' Then I went to the Prophet (sal) and mentioned it to him." He said: 'Is this how you take care of the wife of someone who is away fighting in Allah's cause?" Such that he had wished he had not accepted Islam until that very time, and he thought that he must be one of the people of the Fire." He said: "The Messenger of Allah (sal) bowed his head for a long time, until Allah revealed to him: And perform the Salat, at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds. That is a reminder for the mindful (11:114). Abu Al-Yasar said: "So I went to him and the Messenger of Allah (sal) recited it for me. A companion of his said: "O Messenger of Allah! Is this specific, or is it for the people in general?" He said: "Rather it is for the people in general." What needs to be understood is” (Tirmidhi-graded authentic by Sheikh Albani)
The above hadiths when understood from the text is clear that the companion kissed the woman with lust and it is not a major sin to kiss a woman outside marriage because in another hadith, the prophet said,
Ibn 'Abbas (rali) narrated, 'When Ma'iz came to the Prophet (sal) (admitting that he had committed adultery), he said to him, "Perhaps you have just kissed, or touched or looked (at the woman)." Ma'iz said,'No, O Messenger of Allah.' (Bukhari)
What needs to be understood is the intention. You can kiss before marriage with good .intentions. Umar(Rali) narrated, The prophet(Sal) said,
"Actions are according to intentions, and everyone will get what was intended"
(Bukhari and Muslim)
It is clear that kissing before marriage is not haram in Islam