Why Dating a Non Muslim is Not Haram Under These Reasons
C.J Ahmed-06.05.2023
Dating a non-Muslim is halal in Islam and under the concept of “dharoorah” (necessity) you can date and get to know a non-Muslims for various good purposes. Dating is similar to talking and talking o another person even with a non-Muslim could be helpful as you can help spread Islam to him or her and do various things which will give rewards in Islam. The argument among Muslim scholars is based on two main arguments and one is that dating is a concept among the non-Muslims and assuming their ways is haram. This is not necessarily true because talking between men and women existed even during the time of the prophet (sal) and his companions and what the westerners did was they invented a name and conceptualized it with more romantic and sexy toppings to it. There is a big difference of opinion among scholars on whether mixing of sexes is haram or halal and if you take a look at what the hadiths say about mixing of men and women you would not find a single direct evidence to prove that it is haram in Islam. This proves clearly that gender segregation is a myth.
Sa’d reported: Umar ibn Al-Khattab asked permission to see the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, while some women from the Quraish were sitting with him and they were asking for his financial support while raising their voices above his. When asked permission to enter, all of them hurried to veil themselves. The Prophet admitted Umar and he entered while he was smiling. Umar said,
“May Allah preserve your smile, O Messenger of Allah. Let my father and mother be sacrificed for you!” The Prophet said, “I am amazed by these women who were with me. As soon as they heard your voice, they hastened to veil themselves.” Umar said, “You have more right that they should be modest for you, O Messenger of Allah.” Then Umar turned to them and he said, “O enemies of your own souls! You are modest for me but not the Messenger of Allah?” The women replied, “Yes, for you are stricter and harsher than the Messenger of Allah.” The Prophet said, “O son of Khattab, by the one in whose hand is my soul, whenever Satan sees you taking a path, then he will take another path. (Source: Sahih Bukhari 5735, Sahih Muslim 2397)
The above hadith proves that women were not separate when talking with the prophet (sal) and any person with an iota of wisdom will understand this when reading this hadith.
The second main argument is that dating will lead to zina and zina is haram. Although zina is haram in Islam, not all forms of dating leads to zina. Even for the sake of argument if we agree that dating leads to zina, committing zina is still halal under necessity. The following hadiths prove this,
There are situations where man could fall in to fornicating or adultery due to certain fears or necessity. Islam has facilitated ease on this occasion and committing fornication or adultery won't be considered a sin or something that is forbidden due to the fact that the individual has a valid reason of necessity. This is how Allah(Swt) explains the principal of necessity.
"And why should you not eat of that (meat) on which Allah’s Name has been
pronounced (at the time of slaughtering the animal), while He has explained
to you in detail what is forbidden to you, except under compulsion of
necessity?”
(Al-Quran-6:119)
And
"He has only forbidden you carrion, blood, and swine, and that which has
been consecrated to any other than Allah. But who is driven by necessity,
neither craving nor transgressing, it is no sin for him. For Allah is
Forgiving, Compassionate."
(Al-Quran-2:173)
These verses give a clear picture that proves that something that is already made haram will become halal due to a necessity if there is no transgression. Allah(Swt) explains in theses verses when mentioning about meat which are forbidden and also says that although meat like carrion and
swine are haram, it becomes halal under necessity. Let me give you another example.
A woman was brought to ‘Umar bin al Khattab May Allah be pleased with him
who had been extremely thirsty, and had passed by a shepherd and asked him
to give her something to drink; he had refused to give her something to
drink unless she let him have his way with her. (Umar) consulted with the
people as to whether he should have her stoned. ‘Ali May Allah be pleased
with him said, ‘She was forced to do it, you should let her go.’ So he did
so."
(Sunan Baihaqi-authenticated by Albani in Irwa al Ghaleel 7/341)
Now, look carefully at this hadith. In this hadith a woman who had committed adultery was let go because she committed adultery because she was thirsty. Umar (Rali) did not admonish her for committing adultery for water rather, he let her go. This is clear evidence that you can indulge in sex outside marriage if it is for a necessity.
"Narrated Anas (Rali):
The Prophet (sal) allowed `Abdur-Rahman bin `Auf and Az-Zubair bin
Al-`Awwam to wear silk because they were suffering from an itch"
(Sahih Al Bukhari)
In this hadith, the prophet(Sal) allowed Abdur Rahman bin auf and Zubair bin Awwam to wear silk because they had an itch. Generally wearing silk is haram for men except for embroidary but the prophet (Sal) allowed silk for the two sahabi due to a reason. When it comes to force and fear, the next reason is rape. The prophet (Sal) said,
"Allah has forgiven my nation for mistakes and forgetfulness, and what they
are forced to do."
(Ibn Majah- Graded Sahih by Albani in Sahih Sunan Ibn Majah and narrated by
Baihaqi and others and graded Hasan Sahih by Albani)
Having less sex can cause health problems
Having less sex could cause serious health problems. in a March 1, 2010
article published by Harvard,
https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/lack-of-sex-affects-the-heart
mentioned the following,
"The latest report from the ongoing Massachusetts Male Aging Study suggests
that, for men, having sex once a month or less can be a worrisome sign of
cardiovascular disease, even in men who have normal erections (American
Journal of Cardiology, Jan. 15, 2010). The researchers recommend that
doctors ask their male patients about sexual activity as a possible window
into hidden cardiovascular disease."
Not only does it effect the heart, less sexual intercourse can effect your
immune system as well. A research published by Psychologists in
Pennsylvania have shown that people who have sex once or twice a week
strengthens
their immune systems. The research results ere published in "New
scientist" dated 17 April 1999 and says the following,
"Psychologists in Pennsylvania have shown that people who have sex once or
twice a week get a boost to their immune systems.Scientists can evaluate
how robust our immune systems are by measuring levels
of immunoglobulin A (IgA), an antigen found in saliva and mucosal linings.
“IgA is the first line of defence against colds and flu,” says Carl Charnetski of
Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre. IgA binds to pathogens at all the points of entry to the body, then calls on the immune system to destroy them.To find out if sex can alter IgA levels, Charnetski and his colleague FrankBrennan asked 111 Wilkes undergraduates, aged 16 to 23, how frequently they’d had sex over the previous month. They also measured levels of IgA in the
volunteers’ saliva.The results showed that participants who had sex less than once a week had a
tiny increase in IgA over those who abstained completely. Those who had one or two sexual encounters each week had a 30 per cent rise in levels of the
antigen.But people who had very frequent sex—three times a week or more—had
lower IgA levels than the abstainers. The researchers presented the results
thisweek at a meeting of the Eastern Psychological Association in Providence,"
(https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg16221820-800-can-regular-sex-ward-off-colds-and-flu/)
Having less or no sex can cause health problems and dating will give a good avenue for a Muslim to have sex if it is for a necessity. It is clear that dating is not haram in Islam.
Dating a non-Muslim is halal in Islam and under the concept of “dharoorah” (necessity) you can date and get to know a non-Muslims for various good purposes. Dating is similar to talking and talking o another person even with a non-Muslim could be helpful as you can help spread Islam to him or her and do various things which will give rewards in Islam. The argument among Muslim scholars is based on two main arguments and one is that dating is a concept among the non-Muslims and assuming their ways is haram. This is not necessarily true because talking between men and women existed even during the time of the prophet (sal) and his companions and what the westerners did was they invented a name and conceptualized it with more romantic and sexy toppings to it. There is a big difference of opinion among scholars on whether mixing of sexes is haram or halal and if you take a look at what the hadiths say about mixing of men and women you would not find a single direct evidence to prove that it is haram in Islam. This proves clearly that gender segregation is a myth.
Sa’d reported: Umar ibn Al-Khattab asked permission to see the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, while some women from the Quraish were sitting with him and they were asking for his financial support while raising their voices above his. When asked permission to enter, all of them hurried to veil themselves. The Prophet admitted Umar and he entered while he was smiling. Umar said,
“May Allah preserve your smile, O Messenger of Allah. Let my father and mother be sacrificed for you!” The Prophet said, “I am amazed by these women who were with me. As soon as they heard your voice, they hastened to veil themselves.” Umar said, “You have more right that they should be modest for you, O Messenger of Allah.” Then Umar turned to them and he said, “O enemies of your own souls! You are modest for me but not the Messenger of Allah?” The women replied, “Yes, for you are stricter and harsher than the Messenger of Allah.” The Prophet said, “O son of Khattab, by the one in whose hand is my soul, whenever Satan sees you taking a path, then he will take another path. (Source: Sahih Bukhari 5735, Sahih Muslim 2397)
The above hadith proves that women were not separate when talking with the prophet (sal) and any person with an iota of wisdom will understand this when reading this hadith.
The second main argument is that dating will lead to zina and zina is haram. Although zina is haram in Islam, not all forms of dating leads to zina. Even for the sake of argument if we agree that dating leads to zina, committing zina is still halal under necessity. The following hadiths prove this,
There are situations where man could fall in to fornicating or adultery due to certain fears or necessity. Islam has facilitated ease on this occasion and committing fornication or adultery won't be considered a sin or something that is forbidden due to the fact that the individual has a valid reason of necessity. This is how Allah(Swt) explains the principal of necessity.
"And why should you not eat of that (meat) on which Allah’s Name has been
pronounced (at the time of slaughtering the animal), while He has explained
to you in detail what is forbidden to you, except under compulsion of
necessity?”
(Al-Quran-6:119)
And
"He has only forbidden you carrion, blood, and swine, and that which has
been consecrated to any other than Allah. But who is driven by necessity,
neither craving nor transgressing, it is no sin for him. For Allah is
Forgiving, Compassionate."
(Al-Quran-2:173)
These verses give a clear picture that proves that something that is already made haram will become halal due to a necessity if there is no transgression. Allah(Swt) explains in theses verses when mentioning about meat which are forbidden and also says that although meat like carrion and
swine are haram, it becomes halal under necessity. Let me give you another example.
A woman was brought to ‘Umar bin al Khattab May Allah be pleased with him
who had been extremely thirsty, and had passed by a shepherd and asked him
to give her something to drink; he had refused to give her something to
drink unless she let him have his way with her. (Umar) consulted with the
people as to whether he should have her stoned. ‘Ali May Allah be pleased
with him said, ‘She was forced to do it, you should let her go.’ So he did
so."
(Sunan Baihaqi-authenticated by Albani in Irwa al Ghaleel 7/341)
Now, look carefully at this hadith. In this hadith a woman who had committed adultery was let go because she committed adultery because she was thirsty. Umar (Rali) did not admonish her for committing adultery for water rather, he let her go. This is clear evidence that you can indulge in sex outside marriage if it is for a necessity.
"Narrated Anas (Rali):
The Prophet (sal) allowed `Abdur-Rahman bin `Auf and Az-Zubair bin
Al-`Awwam to wear silk because they were suffering from an itch"
(Sahih Al Bukhari)
In this hadith, the prophet(Sal) allowed Abdur Rahman bin auf and Zubair bin Awwam to wear silk because they had an itch. Generally wearing silk is haram for men except for embroidary but the prophet (Sal) allowed silk for the two sahabi due to a reason. When it comes to force and fear, the next reason is rape. The prophet (Sal) said,
"Allah has forgiven my nation for mistakes and forgetfulness, and what they
are forced to do."
(Ibn Majah- Graded Sahih by Albani in Sahih Sunan Ibn Majah and narrated by
Baihaqi and others and graded Hasan Sahih by Albani)
Having less sex can cause health problems
Having less sex could cause serious health problems. in a March 1, 2010
article published by Harvard,
https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/lack-of-sex-affects-the-heart
mentioned the following,
"The latest report from the ongoing Massachusetts Male Aging Study suggests
that, for men, having sex once a month or less can be a worrisome sign of
cardiovascular disease, even in men who have normal erections (American
Journal of Cardiology, Jan. 15, 2010). The researchers recommend that
doctors ask their male patients about sexual activity as a possible window
into hidden cardiovascular disease."
Not only does it effect the heart, less sexual intercourse can effect your
immune system as well. A research published by Psychologists in
Pennsylvania have shown that people who have sex once or twice a week
strengthens
their immune systems. The research results ere published in "New
scientist" dated 17 April 1999 and says the following,
"Psychologists in Pennsylvania have shown that people who have sex once or
twice a week get a boost to their immune systems.Scientists can evaluate
how robust our immune systems are by measuring levels
of immunoglobulin A (IgA), an antigen found in saliva and mucosal linings.
“IgA is the first line of defence against colds and flu,” says Carl Charnetski of
Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre. IgA binds to pathogens at all the points of entry to the body, then calls on the immune system to destroy them.To find out if sex can alter IgA levels, Charnetski and his colleague FrankBrennan asked 111 Wilkes undergraduates, aged 16 to 23, how frequently they’d had sex over the previous month. They also measured levels of IgA in the
volunteers’ saliva.The results showed that participants who had sex less than once a week had a
tiny increase in IgA over those who abstained completely. Those who had one or two sexual encounters each week had a 30 per cent rise in levels of the
antigen.But people who had very frequent sex—three times a week or more—had
lower IgA levels than the abstainers. The researchers presented the results
thisweek at a meeting of the Eastern Psychological Association in Providence,"
(https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg16221820-800-can-regular-sex-ward-off-colds-and-flu/)
Having less or no sex can cause health problems and dating will give a good avenue for a Muslim to have sex if it is for a necessity. It is clear that dating is not haram in Islam.