Why it is Not Haram For a Muslim to Have Online Friends
C.J Ahmed-06.05.2023
Having online friends is not haram even if it involves the opposite gender because looking at the opposite gender directly with your eyes is what is forbidden in Islam.
The Awrah Argument
Although the western definition in English for porn changes slightly with the change of time and new technology, Islam has a different and simple definition of porn. In Islam which is based on the Arabic term “Awrah” or the intimate parts of men and women, which are forbidden. The awrah varies from a man to a woman. The awrah argument is the basis that is used by ultra conservative Muslims to forb id pornography. The prohibition of looking at the awrah or the intimate parts of men and women is based on several authentic hadiths. The prophet (Sal) said:
“"No man should look at the Awrah of another man and no woman should look at the Awrah of another woman. Also, no man should be with another man under one piece of cloth and no woman should be with another woman under one piece of cloth.”
(Sahih Muslim)
Jarir bin 'Abdullah (Rali) narrated:
"I asked the Messenger of Allah (Sal) about (the Islamic ruling on) accidental glance and he ordered me to turn my eyes away".
(Sahih Muslim)
Allah (Swt) says in the Quran
“Tell the believing women to lower their gaze"
(24:31)
"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze"
(24:31)
The above evidences have been taken literally and the interpretation is stretched out with an umbrella prohibition arguing that lowering the gaze or not looking at the intimate parts of men and women applies to mediums such as photography or video. What needs to be understood here is that looking at the intimate parts is forbidden only,
•If you look at real people with your bare eyes
•And if it is done with lust
If this meets these two criteria only does it falls as forbidden. Looking at the intimate parts of men or women without lust is allowed based on many authentic hadiths. There are several hadiths to support this. One such hadith is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari and Sahih Muslim where Aisha (Rali) was enjoying the spear dance that was conducted by a group of Ethiopian men in the mosque in the day of Eid. In another hadith an Ansari woman came to the Prophet ( Sal) and he took her aside and said (to her). "By Allah, you (Ansar) are the most beloved people to me."
(Bukhari)
In the above hadith it is clear that the prophet (Sal) spoke to a woman and there is no mention of him turning his face towards the ground. He also took her to a side and spoke to her. There are ample hadiths to prove that you can look at a woman without lust. Unfortunately, many Muslims have turned in to extremists by gazing down their face all the time when looking at a woman and even refusing to speak to the opposite sex. The above hadiths only mention looking at the intimate parts with your own eyes. One might argue that the teachings of Islam is universal and is for all ages and times irrespective of how technology has advanced. This is true if there were hadiths prohibiting the ogling or looking of images but the truth is, there aren’t any. The other stretch of the argument of those who forbid watching porn is that the hadiths and the verses in the Quran that prohibit looking t the intimate parts of men and women does not differentiate between looking at real people or images, videos or other manipulative technological creations such as cartoons or CGI generated imagery or videos. My answer to this is that drawings of nude men and women existed before the prophet Muhammad (sal) and even with the existence of such pornographic art, neither did the prophet (sal) forbid looking at them nor was it forbidden in the Quran. This means that Islam is silent on the issue of looking at nude men and women which are either in drawings or videos.
Abu Darda reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,
“What Allah has made lawful in his book is lawful, and what he has made unlawful is unlawful. Whatever he has remained silent upon, it is for your benefit, so accept benefit from Allah. Verily, Allah is not forgetful.” Then the Prophet recited the verse, “Your Lord is not forgetful.” (19:64)
(Sunan al-Darqutni-Graded authentic by Sheikh Albani)
Let’s take the next hadith
The Prophet (sal) said,
"A woman should not look at or touch another woman to describe her to her husband in such a way as if he was actually looking at her."
(Bukhari)
Now, if a husband tells appearing on TV and quotes the above hadiths stating that she should not look or touch a woman, it doesn’t apply because what is mentioned in the hadith is describing a real woman because it involves touching her physically as well which cannot be done in a TV screen. Taking the hadith literally and stating it applies to everything is baseless because the Greeks, Romans and other civilizations used nude pornographic imagery even before the prophet (sal) and even in such a scenario it wasn’t forbidden.
Having online friends is not haram.
Having online friends is not haram even if it involves the opposite gender because looking at the opposite gender directly with your eyes is what is forbidden in Islam.
The Awrah Argument
Although the western definition in English for porn changes slightly with the change of time and new technology, Islam has a different and simple definition of porn. In Islam which is based on the Arabic term “Awrah” or the intimate parts of men and women, which are forbidden. The awrah varies from a man to a woman. The awrah argument is the basis that is used by ultra conservative Muslims to forb id pornography. The prohibition of looking at the awrah or the intimate parts of men and women is based on several authentic hadiths. The prophet (Sal) said:
“"No man should look at the Awrah of another man and no woman should look at the Awrah of another woman. Also, no man should be with another man under one piece of cloth and no woman should be with another woman under one piece of cloth.”
(Sahih Muslim)
Jarir bin 'Abdullah (Rali) narrated:
"I asked the Messenger of Allah (Sal) about (the Islamic ruling on) accidental glance and he ordered me to turn my eyes away".
(Sahih Muslim)
Allah (Swt) says in the Quran
“Tell the believing women to lower their gaze"
(24:31)
"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze"
(24:31)
The above evidences have been taken literally and the interpretation is stretched out with an umbrella prohibition arguing that lowering the gaze or not looking at the intimate parts of men and women applies to mediums such as photography or video. What needs to be understood here is that looking at the intimate parts is forbidden only,
•If you look at real people with your bare eyes
•And if it is done with lust
If this meets these two criteria only does it falls as forbidden. Looking at the intimate parts of men or women without lust is allowed based on many authentic hadiths. There are several hadiths to support this. One such hadith is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari and Sahih Muslim where Aisha (Rali) was enjoying the spear dance that was conducted by a group of Ethiopian men in the mosque in the day of Eid. In another hadith an Ansari woman came to the Prophet ( Sal) and he took her aside and said (to her). "By Allah, you (Ansar) are the most beloved people to me."
(Bukhari)
In the above hadith it is clear that the prophet (Sal) spoke to a woman and there is no mention of him turning his face towards the ground. He also took her to a side and spoke to her. There are ample hadiths to prove that you can look at a woman without lust. Unfortunately, many Muslims have turned in to extremists by gazing down their face all the time when looking at a woman and even refusing to speak to the opposite sex. The above hadiths only mention looking at the intimate parts with your own eyes. One might argue that the teachings of Islam is universal and is for all ages and times irrespective of how technology has advanced. This is true if there were hadiths prohibiting the ogling or looking of images but the truth is, there aren’t any. The other stretch of the argument of those who forbid watching porn is that the hadiths and the verses in the Quran that prohibit looking t the intimate parts of men and women does not differentiate between looking at real people or images, videos or other manipulative technological creations such as cartoons or CGI generated imagery or videos. My answer to this is that drawings of nude men and women existed before the prophet Muhammad (sal) and even with the existence of such pornographic art, neither did the prophet (sal) forbid looking at them nor was it forbidden in the Quran. This means that Islam is silent on the issue of looking at nude men and women which are either in drawings or videos.
Abu Darda reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,
“What Allah has made lawful in his book is lawful, and what he has made unlawful is unlawful. Whatever he has remained silent upon, it is for your benefit, so accept benefit from Allah. Verily, Allah is not forgetful.” Then the Prophet recited the verse, “Your Lord is not forgetful.” (19:64)
(Sunan al-Darqutni-Graded authentic by Sheikh Albani)
Let’s take the next hadith
The Prophet (sal) said,
"A woman should not look at or touch another woman to describe her to her husband in such a way as if he was actually looking at her."
(Bukhari)
Now, if a husband tells appearing on TV and quotes the above hadiths stating that she should not look or touch a woman, it doesn’t apply because what is mentioned in the hadith is describing a real woman because it involves touching her physically as well which cannot be done in a TV screen. Taking the hadith literally and stating it applies to everything is baseless because the Greeks, Romans and other civilizations used nude pornographic imagery even before the prophet (sal) and even in such a scenario it wasn’t forbidden.
Having online friends is not haram.