Why Kissing Your Wife in Public is Not Haram in Islam
C.J Ahmed-14.05.2023
There is nothing haram in kissing your wife in public. Even the companions kissed the prophet (sal) in public.
Narrated by Ibn Abbas and Aisha (rali),
“Abu Bakr (rali) kissed the forehead of the prophet (sal)” (Bukhari-5709 and 5712)
A'isha, the Umm al-Mu'minin, said, "I did not see anyone who more resembled the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, in manner of speaking than Fatima. When she came to him, he stood up for her, made her welcome, kissed her and had her sit in his place. When the Prophet came to her, she stood up for him, took his hand, made him welcome, kissed him, and made him sit in her place. She came to him during his final illness and he greeted her and kissed her."(Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 971-Graded Sahih by Albani)
Based on these hadiths it is clear that kissing in public was never discouragd like what we see in today’s conservertive societies.
Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported:
“A slave girl of Madīnah would take hold of the hand of the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) and would take him wherever she wished” (Bukhari)
Kissing is a form of touching another person using the lips and this is not haram because Even the prophet (sal) touched the hand of a slave woman as evident from the above hadith.
Regarding the hadiths which discourage touching a womens hand
There are a few hadiths which discourage touching a woman and belo r some of them,
Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said:
The prophet (sal) said, “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.” (Tabarani-Graded Sahih by Albani)
The above hadith does not specifically mention touching the hand of a woman and touching could mean several things and touch also means having sexual intercourse a explained in the following erse in the Quran,
“She (Mary) said: ‘My Lord! How can I have a child when no mortal hath touched me?’”(3:47)
“If ye divorce them before ye have touched them …” (2:237)
So, touching would generally mean to touch with sexual desire and the normal shaking of hands between the opposite sex is not sexual in nature. Sheikh ul Islam Ibn Tayiyyah said the following as an explanation of touching,
“So, whoever assumes that Almighty Allah’s saying, “… or ye have touched women, …” includes general touching without desire has exceeded far beyond the language of the Qur’an and that of people. For if “touching” in which a man and a woman are included is mentioned, it is known that it refers to touching with desire. Similarly, if “sexual intercourse” in which a man and a woman are included is mentioned, it is well known that it refers to actual sexual intercourse and nothing else.”(Fatawa Sheikh Al-Islam Ibn Taimiyah, vol. 21, pp. 223-224)
Let me explain he hadiths which state that the prophet (sal) never touched the hand of a woman.
Aisha (rali) narrated,
Whoever among the believing women agreed to that had passed the test, and when the women agreed to that, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to them: “Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’ No, by Allaah, the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman, rather they would give their oath of allegiance with words only.” And ‘Aa’ishah said: “By Allaah, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) only took the oath of allegiance from the women in the manner prescribed by Allaah, and the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman. When he had taken their oath of allegiance he would say, ‘I have accepted your oath of allegiance verbally.’”(Muslim)
It was narrated from ‘Urwah that ‘Aisha told him about the women’s oath of allegiance: “The Messenger of Allaah (sl) never touched any woman with his hand. He would explain to the woman what the oath of allegiance implied, and when she accepted, he would say ‘Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’”(Muslim)
It was narrated that Umaymah the daughter of Raqeeqah said: The Messenger of Allaah (sal) said, “I do not shake hands with women.”(Nasai and Ibn Majah-Graded Sahih by Albani)
In this hadiths the prophet (sal) did not shake or touch the hands of the women when they were giving pledge and this cannot be taken as evidence to forbid the shaking of hands between the opposite gender because what the prophet (sal) did was personal and just because he personally did not shake hands with women does not mean it is prohibited or disliked. Jabir bin Abdullah (rali) reported the Messenger of Allah (sal) as sayings:
He who eats garlic or onion must keep away from us. Or he said: must keep away from our mosque or must sit in his house. A dish containing green vegetables was brought to him, and noticing that it had an odour he asked (about it). He was told that it contained some vegetables. He then said: Bring it near, to one of his companion who was with him. When he saw it, he abominated eating it, and said: eat for I hold intimate converse with one with whom you do not. Ahmad bin Salih said: Ibn Wahb explained the word Badr as meaning dish."
(Abu Dawud-graded sahih by Albani)
In this hadith did not like eating some vegetable which had a bad odour but although he personally hated it, did not forbid his companions from eating it. The other example is in the following hadith,
'Abdullah b. 'Abbas reported that Khalid bin Walid, who is called the Sword of Allah had informed him that he visited Maimuna, the wife of Allah's Apostle (Sal), in the company of Allah's Messenger (Sal), and she was the sister of his mother (that of Khalid) and that of 'Ibn Abbas, and he found with her a roasted lizard which her sister Hufaida the daughter of al-Harith had brought from Najd, and she presented that lizard to Allah's Messenger (Sal). It was rare that some food was presented to the Prophet (Sal) and it was not mentioned or named.
While Allah's Messenger (Sal) was about to stretch forth his hand towards the lizard, a woman from amongst the women present there informed the Messenger of Allah (Sal) what they had presented to him.
They said: "Messenger of Allah, it is a lizard. Allah's Messenger (Sal) withdrew his hand, whereupon Khalid bin Walid said: Messenger of Allah, is a lizard forbidden? Thereupon he said: No, but it is not found in the land of my people, and I feel that I have no liking for it.
Khalid said:
I then chewed and ate it, and Allah's Messenger (Sal) was looking at me and he did not forbid (me to eat it) (Sahih Muslim).
In this hadith, the prophet (sal) disliked eating lizards but he did not forbid others from doing so. Using the hadiths of the prophet (sal) not shaking hands with women to prohibit the shaking of hands of the opposite gender is nothing but a weak argument because what was done personally by the prophet (sal) can not be interpreted as something forbidden or disliked.
Kissing your wife in public is not harm in Islam.
There is nothing haram in kissing your wife in public. Even the companions kissed the prophet (sal) in public.
Narrated by Ibn Abbas and Aisha (rali),
“Abu Bakr (rali) kissed the forehead of the prophet (sal)” (Bukhari-5709 and 5712)
A'isha, the Umm al-Mu'minin, said, "I did not see anyone who more resembled the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, in manner of speaking than Fatima. When she came to him, he stood up for her, made her welcome, kissed her and had her sit in his place. When the Prophet came to her, she stood up for him, took his hand, made him welcome, kissed him, and made him sit in her place. She came to him during his final illness and he greeted her and kissed her."(Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 971-Graded Sahih by Albani)
Based on these hadiths it is clear that kissing in public was never discouragd like what we see in today’s conservertive societies.
Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported:
“A slave girl of Madīnah would take hold of the hand of the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) and would take him wherever she wished” (Bukhari)
Kissing is a form of touching another person using the lips and this is not haram because Even the prophet (sal) touched the hand of a slave woman as evident from the above hadith.
Regarding the hadiths which discourage touching a womens hand
There are a few hadiths which discourage touching a woman and belo r some of them,
Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said:
The prophet (sal) said, “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.” (Tabarani-Graded Sahih by Albani)
The above hadith does not specifically mention touching the hand of a woman and touching could mean several things and touch also means having sexual intercourse a explained in the following erse in the Quran,
“She (Mary) said: ‘My Lord! How can I have a child when no mortal hath touched me?’”(3:47)
“If ye divorce them before ye have touched them …” (2:237)
So, touching would generally mean to touch with sexual desire and the normal shaking of hands between the opposite sex is not sexual in nature. Sheikh ul Islam Ibn Tayiyyah said the following as an explanation of touching,
“So, whoever assumes that Almighty Allah’s saying, “… or ye have touched women, …” includes general touching without desire has exceeded far beyond the language of the Qur’an and that of people. For if “touching” in which a man and a woman are included is mentioned, it is known that it refers to touching with desire. Similarly, if “sexual intercourse” in which a man and a woman are included is mentioned, it is well known that it refers to actual sexual intercourse and nothing else.”(Fatawa Sheikh Al-Islam Ibn Taimiyah, vol. 21, pp. 223-224)
Let me explain he hadiths which state that the prophet (sal) never touched the hand of a woman.
Aisha (rali) narrated,
Whoever among the believing women agreed to that had passed the test, and when the women agreed to that, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to them: “Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’ No, by Allaah, the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman, rather they would give their oath of allegiance with words only.” And ‘Aa’ishah said: “By Allaah, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) only took the oath of allegiance from the women in the manner prescribed by Allaah, and the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman. When he had taken their oath of allegiance he would say, ‘I have accepted your oath of allegiance verbally.’”(Muslim)
It was narrated from ‘Urwah that ‘Aisha told him about the women’s oath of allegiance: “The Messenger of Allaah (sl) never touched any woman with his hand. He would explain to the woman what the oath of allegiance implied, and when she accepted, he would say ‘Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’”(Muslim)
It was narrated that Umaymah the daughter of Raqeeqah said: The Messenger of Allaah (sal) said, “I do not shake hands with women.”(Nasai and Ibn Majah-Graded Sahih by Albani)
In this hadiths the prophet (sal) did not shake or touch the hands of the women when they were giving pledge and this cannot be taken as evidence to forbid the shaking of hands between the opposite gender because what the prophet (sal) did was personal and just because he personally did not shake hands with women does not mean it is prohibited or disliked. Jabir bin Abdullah (rali) reported the Messenger of Allah (sal) as sayings:
He who eats garlic or onion must keep away from us. Or he said: must keep away from our mosque or must sit in his house. A dish containing green vegetables was brought to him, and noticing that it had an odour he asked (about it). He was told that it contained some vegetables. He then said: Bring it near, to one of his companion who was with him. When he saw it, he abominated eating it, and said: eat for I hold intimate converse with one with whom you do not. Ahmad bin Salih said: Ibn Wahb explained the word Badr as meaning dish."
(Abu Dawud-graded sahih by Albani)
In this hadith did not like eating some vegetable which had a bad odour but although he personally hated it, did not forbid his companions from eating it. The other example is in the following hadith,
'Abdullah b. 'Abbas reported that Khalid bin Walid, who is called the Sword of Allah had informed him that he visited Maimuna, the wife of Allah's Apostle (Sal), in the company of Allah's Messenger (Sal), and she was the sister of his mother (that of Khalid) and that of 'Ibn Abbas, and he found with her a roasted lizard which her sister Hufaida the daughter of al-Harith had brought from Najd, and she presented that lizard to Allah's Messenger (Sal). It was rare that some food was presented to the Prophet (Sal) and it was not mentioned or named.
While Allah's Messenger (Sal) was about to stretch forth his hand towards the lizard, a woman from amongst the women present there informed the Messenger of Allah (Sal) what they had presented to him.
They said: "Messenger of Allah, it is a lizard. Allah's Messenger (Sal) withdrew his hand, whereupon Khalid bin Walid said: Messenger of Allah, is a lizard forbidden? Thereupon he said: No, but it is not found in the land of my people, and I feel that I have no liking for it.
Khalid said:
I then chewed and ate it, and Allah's Messenger (Sal) was looking at me and he did not forbid (me to eat it) (Sahih Muslim).
In this hadith, the prophet (sal) disliked eating lizards but he did not forbid others from doing so. Using the hadiths of the prophet (sal) not shaking hands with women to prohibit the shaking of hands of the opposite gender is nothing but a weak argument because what was done personally by the prophet (sal) can not be interpreted as something forbidden or disliked.
Kissing your wife in public is not harm in Islam.