Why marriage is not compulsory in Islam: 5 hadith proofs
C J. Ahmed-08.03.2023
Marriage is not a must in Islam. Marriage has never been Fard (Must) in Islam. There is great ideological polarization among Muslims when it comes to marriage. Muslims who do not marry or do not have the intention to get married are looked down by those who are married or who believe that marriage is a must. It is unfortunate to see this situation because nowhere in Islam does it say that marriage is an obligation. This polarization has led to parents forcing their children especially girls to get married fearing that society would look down on them and would blame the parents for not giving their daughters in marriage. Some parents are selfish enough to force their children especially their daughters to get married because they want to see grandchildren. It is not the child’s duty to become a baby making machine to please parents. The problem we are seeing here is that parents are trying to achieve their selfish goals at the expense of their children. From education, sports to marriage this has been the case where children are forced to do things which they do not like but have to do it to simply please their parents and their peers. Parents have no right to interfere in the lives of children when it especially comes to marriage and this is what Islam teaches. Many of you readers of this blog post would be familiar with the term “marriageable age”. Most forget that the age of marriage should only be determined by the individual and not anyone else and it is subjective. Let me give you Five proofs from hadiths why marriage is not an obligation in Islam.
Proof-1-The Youth Were Not Forced To Get Married
Abdullah bin Mas’ood (rali), who said: “We were with some youth not finding anything, so the Messenger of Allah, (sal) said: ‘O assembly of youth. Whoever from you is able to get married then let him do so, for it lowers the gaze and protects the privates. And whoever is unable, then it is to fast, for it is a protection”
(Bukhari and Muslim and others)
From the above hadith it is very clear that the prophet (Sal) did not regard marriage as an obligation. He regarded it as a Sunnah because if it was made an obligation then it would have been a hardship upon the ummah. If marriage was an obligation then the prophet (Sal) would have clearly mentioned it as an obligation or a companion would have narrated of the prophet (Sal) stating that it's an obligation.
Proof-2-The Mentioning of “Wajib and Sunnah by the Prophet (sal) Was Clear
For something to be declared as Wajib there needs to be clear text stating clearly that it is wajib. One such example is in the below hadith.
Narrated by Aisha (Rali), the prophet (Sal) said:
"When anyone sits amidst four parts (of the woman) and the circumcised parts touch each other a bath becomes obligatory”
(Bukhari and Muslim)
In the above hadith, in the Arabic text the word "Wajib" (وَجَبَ) is used meaning "obligation" but in the hadiths mentioning marriage the prophet (sal) always mentioned that it is a Sunnah. No one has the right to make something wajib when the text do not clearly mention it.
Proof-3-The Hadith of Abu Hurayrah (rali)
The following hadith sheds a point that marriage is not wajib. The evidence is as follows
Narrated Abu Hurayrah:
I said, "O Allah's Messenger (Sal)! I am a young man and I am afraid that I may commit illegal sexual intercourse and I cannot afford to marry." He kept silent, and then repeated my question once again, but he kept silent. I said the same (for the third time) and he remained silent. Then repeated my question (for the fourth time), and only then the Prophet said, "O Abu Hurayrah! The pen has dried after writing what you are going to confront. So (it does not matter whether you) get yourself castrated or not."
(Sahih Al Bukhari)
If we look carefully at the above hadith, Abu Hurayrah (Rali) told the prophet (Sal) that he cannot marry because he does not have the means to get married. The prophet (Sal) never forced him or told him that he must get married and if marriage was an obligation the prophet (Sal) would have told him to anyway get married. Given the scenario of Abu Hurayrah (Rali) fearing that he could commit zina the prophet (Sal) never commanded him to marry.
Proof-4-Uthman (rali) did Not Want to Get Married
Narrated `Abdullah bin `Umar (Rali):
When Hafsa, `Umar's daughter became a widow because of the death of her (husband) Ibn Hudayfah As-Sahmi who was one of the companion of the Prophet (Sal) and the one of the Badr warriors and died at Medina, `Umar said, "I met `Uthman bin `Affan and gave him an offer, saying, 'If you wish, I will marry Hafsa to you.' He said. 'I will think it over' I waited for a few days, then he met me and said, 'I have made up my mind not to marry at present' "`Umar added, "Then I met Abu Bakr and said to him, 'If you wish, I will marry Hafsa to you.'
(Sahih Al Bukhari)
From the above hadith its understood that when Uthman (Rali) refused Umar (Rali)'s offer to marry his daughter stating that that he does not want to marry at the moment, Umar (Rali) did not tell him to get married. If it was an obligation then Umar (Rali) would have told him to marry.
Proof-5-Explanation of the Hadiths Where The Prophet (Sal) Forbade Celibacy
Some scholars and laymen are of the view that marriage is wajib. This view is based on the hadiths where the prophet (Sal) forbade celibacy to some companions. After analyzing these hadiths it is clear that the context of this prohibition needs to be understood clearly to understand the hadith.
Uthman ibn mahzun and some others made marriage haram for themselves. This is forbidden because it is forbidden to forbid something which Allah has allowed. This is the reason why the Prophet (Sal) forbade celibacy. This should be understood in this context. The context of these hadiths must be understood clearly to understand the hadith. These hadiths are taken out of context like for an example the hadiths on the local moonsighting. Click here to read about the local moonsighting hadith cjislam.weebly.com/local-moon-sighting-is-an-innovation.html
"Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas (Rali) said: The Messenger of Allaah (Sal) forbade ‘Uthmaan ibn Maz’oon to be celibate. If he had given him permission, we would have gotten ourselves castrated".
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Anas ibn Malik said:
"Three people came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asking about the worship of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When they were told, it was as if they regarded it as too little. They said: Who are we in comparison to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? Allaah has forgiven his past and future sins. One of them said: As for me, I will pray all night forever. Another said: I shall fast all my life and never break my fast. Another said: I shall keep away from women and never get married. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and said: “Are you the ones who said such and such? By Allaah, I am the one who fears Allaah the most among you and I am the most pious, but I fast and I break my fast, I pray and I sleep, and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.”
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Anas (Rali) reported:
Three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (Sal) to inquire about the worship of the Prophet (Sal). When they were informed, they considered their worship insignificant and said: "Where are we in comparison with the Prophet (Sal) while Allah has forgiven his past sins and future sins". One of them said: "As for me, I shall offer Salat all night long." Another said: "I shall observe Saum (fasting) continuously and shall not break it". Another said: "I shall abstain from women and shall never marry". The Prophet (Sal) came to them and said, "Are you the people who said such and such things? By Allah, I fear Allah more than you do, and I am most obedient and dutiful among you to Him, but still I observe fast and break it; perform Salat and sleep at night and take wives. So whoever turns away from my Sunnah does not belong to me".
(Bukhari and Muslim).
From the above mentioned narrations it is very clear that on all circumstances the prophet (Sal) said clearly that marriage is a Sunnah.
These proofs I hope would give solace to Muslims and non-Muslims alike who are confused on whether it is Fard to get married in Islam.
Marriage is not a must in Islam. Marriage has never been Fard (Must) in Islam. There is great ideological polarization among Muslims when it comes to marriage. Muslims who do not marry or do not have the intention to get married are looked down by those who are married or who believe that marriage is a must. It is unfortunate to see this situation because nowhere in Islam does it say that marriage is an obligation. This polarization has led to parents forcing their children especially girls to get married fearing that society would look down on them and would blame the parents for not giving their daughters in marriage. Some parents are selfish enough to force their children especially their daughters to get married because they want to see grandchildren. It is not the child’s duty to become a baby making machine to please parents. The problem we are seeing here is that parents are trying to achieve their selfish goals at the expense of their children. From education, sports to marriage this has been the case where children are forced to do things which they do not like but have to do it to simply please their parents and their peers. Parents have no right to interfere in the lives of children when it especially comes to marriage and this is what Islam teaches. Many of you readers of this blog post would be familiar with the term “marriageable age”. Most forget that the age of marriage should only be determined by the individual and not anyone else and it is subjective. Let me give you Five proofs from hadiths why marriage is not an obligation in Islam.
Proof-1-The Youth Were Not Forced To Get Married
Abdullah bin Mas’ood (rali), who said: “We were with some youth not finding anything, so the Messenger of Allah, (sal) said: ‘O assembly of youth. Whoever from you is able to get married then let him do so, for it lowers the gaze and protects the privates. And whoever is unable, then it is to fast, for it is a protection”
(Bukhari and Muslim and others)
From the above hadith it is very clear that the prophet (Sal) did not regard marriage as an obligation. He regarded it as a Sunnah because if it was made an obligation then it would have been a hardship upon the ummah. If marriage was an obligation then the prophet (Sal) would have clearly mentioned it as an obligation or a companion would have narrated of the prophet (Sal) stating that it's an obligation.
Proof-2-The Mentioning of “Wajib and Sunnah by the Prophet (sal) Was Clear
For something to be declared as Wajib there needs to be clear text stating clearly that it is wajib. One such example is in the below hadith.
Narrated by Aisha (Rali), the prophet (Sal) said:
"When anyone sits amidst four parts (of the woman) and the circumcised parts touch each other a bath becomes obligatory”
(Bukhari and Muslim)
In the above hadith, in the Arabic text the word "Wajib" (وَجَبَ) is used meaning "obligation" but in the hadiths mentioning marriage the prophet (sal) always mentioned that it is a Sunnah. No one has the right to make something wajib when the text do not clearly mention it.
Proof-3-The Hadith of Abu Hurayrah (rali)
The following hadith sheds a point that marriage is not wajib. The evidence is as follows
Narrated Abu Hurayrah:
I said, "O Allah's Messenger (Sal)! I am a young man and I am afraid that I may commit illegal sexual intercourse and I cannot afford to marry." He kept silent, and then repeated my question once again, but he kept silent. I said the same (for the third time) and he remained silent. Then repeated my question (for the fourth time), and only then the Prophet said, "O Abu Hurayrah! The pen has dried after writing what you are going to confront. So (it does not matter whether you) get yourself castrated or not."
(Sahih Al Bukhari)
If we look carefully at the above hadith, Abu Hurayrah (Rali) told the prophet (Sal) that he cannot marry because he does not have the means to get married. The prophet (Sal) never forced him or told him that he must get married and if marriage was an obligation the prophet (Sal) would have told him to anyway get married. Given the scenario of Abu Hurayrah (Rali) fearing that he could commit zina the prophet (Sal) never commanded him to marry.
Proof-4-Uthman (rali) did Not Want to Get Married
Narrated `Abdullah bin `Umar (Rali):
When Hafsa, `Umar's daughter became a widow because of the death of her (husband) Ibn Hudayfah As-Sahmi who was one of the companion of the Prophet (Sal) and the one of the Badr warriors and died at Medina, `Umar said, "I met `Uthman bin `Affan and gave him an offer, saying, 'If you wish, I will marry Hafsa to you.' He said. 'I will think it over' I waited for a few days, then he met me and said, 'I have made up my mind not to marry at present' "`Umar added, "Then I met Abu Bakr and said to him, 'If you wish, I will marry Hafsa to you.'
(Sahih Al Bukhari)
From the above hadith its understood that when Uthman (Rali) refused Umar (Rali)'s offer to marry his daughter stating that that he does not want to marry at the moment, Umar (Rali) did not tell him to get married. If it was an obligation then Umar (Rali) would have told him to marry.
Proof-5-Explanation of the Hadiths Where The Prophet (Sal) Forbade Celibacy
Some scholars and laymen are of the view that marriage is wajib. This view is based on the hadiths where the prophet (Sal) forbade celibacy to some companions. After analyzing these hadiths it is clear that the context of this prohibition needs to be understood clearly to understand the hadith.
Uthman ibn mahzun and some others made marriage haram for themselves. This is forbidden because it is forbidden to forbid something which Allah has allowed. This is the reason why the Prophet (Sal) forbade celibacy. This should be understood in this context. The context of these hadiths must be understood clearly to understand the hadith. These hadiths are taken out of context like for an example the hadiths on the local moonsighting. Click here to read about the local moonsighting hadith cjislam.weebly.com/local-moon-sighting-is-an-innovation.html
"Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas (Rali) said: The Messenger of Allaah (Sal) forbade ‘Uthmaan ibn Maz’oon to be celibate. If he had given him permission, we would have gotten ourselves castrated".
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Anas ibn Malik said:
"Three people came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asking about the worship of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When they were told, it was as if they regarded it as too little. They said: Who are we in comparison to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? Allaah has forgiven his past and future sins. One of them said: As for me, I will pray all night forever. Another said: I shall fast all my life and never break my fast. Another said: I shall keep away from women and never get married. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and said: “Are you the ones who said such and such? By Allaah, I am the one who fears Allaah the most among you and I am the most pious, but I fast and I break my fast, I pray and I sleep, and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.”
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Anas (Rali) reported:
Three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (Sal) to inquire about the worship of the Prophet (Sal). When they were informed, they considered their worship insignificant and said: "Where are we in comparison with the Prophet (Sal) while Allah has forgiven his past sins and future sins". One of them said: "As for me, I shall offer Salat all night long." Another said: "I shall observe Saum (fasting) continuously and shall not break it". Another said: "I shall abstain from women and shall never marry". The Prophet (Sal) came to them and said, "Are you the people who said such and such things? By Allah, I fear Allah more than you do, and I am most obedient and dutiful among you to Him, but still I observe fast and break it; perform Salat and sleep at night and take wives. So whoever turns away from my Sunnah does not belong to me".
(Bukhari and Muslim).
From the above mentioned narrations it is very clear that on all circumstances the prophet (Sal) said clearly that marriage is a Sunnah.
These proofs I hope would give solace to Muslims and non-Muslims alike who are confused on whether it is Fard to get married in Islam.